36: Hazel the Margarita Connoisseur

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"There's a few things people don't know about Syd. Number One, she loves waffles. Number Two, she believes that she's a monster and is unworthy of love. I'm not sure which is worse because she once stabbed me to get a waffle,"-Diego Hargreeves

Zero's POV

Hazel watched us with beady eyes as we drank our margaritas. We gave zero fucks because the world wasn't ending anymore- although I did have a feeling that there was something I had forgotten. Whatever, probably didn't matter now.

"You're here to kill us?" Five asked. 

Hazel looked down at his gun holding hand before muttering a quick, "Oh. Shit. Sorry. Old habits." He placed the gun into his waistband, "Well, I can understand why you two might feel that way, you know..."

Five took a sip of his margarita, "Well, you attacked our house, tried to kill our family, and kidnapped my brother." Point to Five.

"Well, there's not much I can do about the past. Don't forget I'm not the only killer in the room. You got your own bloody history, pal. Plus, whatever Reginald make Number Zero do, racked up a few thousand kills. Speaking of which, the job you did in Calhoun, that shit's legendary. Can't believe I'm sittin' here talkin', after all-"

Five let out a breath, "Hazel, why are you here?"

"Well, I'm, you know-" Before Hazel could finish talking, Diego kicked him to the ground.

"Diego, stop!" Five hollered. 

"Yeah, Diego. Beat up that son of a bitch!" I chimed in. 

Five's eyes widened at me. I sighed, "I'm feeling a bit tipsy, I want entertainment."

"Fair enough."

Diego flipped over Hazel, getting ready to kick him in the face when he stood up. Diego keep raining down punches on to Hazel. I took a long sip of my drink.

"You know, before you kill him, you might wanna hear what he has to say."

Hazel was able to kick Diego off of him. Diego recoiled back up, with a jump. 

Diego pulled out a knife and told Hazel, "I'm going to kill you for what you did to Patch."

Hazel looked to us, gesturing to why we hadn't intervened. I glanced to Five, and gave him a swift kiss on the lips. 

"This is better than killing someone myself- margaritas and my boyfriend, what could be better?"

Diego swiped and swiped the knife towards Hazel- Hazel backing up and missing each one. 

"Or, don't. See how that goes," Five groaned. 

"Are you gonna-" Hazel began to say, until he had to keep avoiding Diego's wrath of fury. Diego was getting sloppier with his knife strokes- wasn't looking good, considering he's the knife guy.

"Come on!" Hazel yelled. Diego threw his knife into the air, manipulating it to stab itself in Hazel's thigh. Blood spewed everywhere, but thankfully not in my drink. Hazel let out a scream. I heard Five inhale sharply beside me- he grabbed my hand, clearly not appreciating the suspense of our free entertainment. 

Hazel threw Diego off of him, throwing a punch to Diego's jaw. Diego recovered for a moment, placing his hands to his knees. 

"That's gotta hurt," Five commented. 

"We should've gotten popcorn, love."

Hazel pulled the knife out of his thigh- the knife coming out with a swish sound. Diego pounced back to Hazel- sending two punches into his face. They both grunted in pain. Diego then, performed a sick backflip- kicking Hazel in the face. Five shrugged at Diego's cool moves. 

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