Feral (bxb)

Nerves

Deep blue eyes (Tilden)

The past two days seemed to of gone really quickly and before I knew it the day of the ascension fights was here. Rain and I had managed to use the ninth dildo and I couldn't help but feel apprehensive about the mating rite which would happen tonight, under the light of a full moon. I mean we'd got it in, although we hadn't moved it around, I couldn't take it, I was almost sobbing with the intensity of it. I was hoping that since Rain would actually be flesh that he'd be more giving than the silicone, that and the fact it was him, my mate. I already feeling premature embarrassment for the mating rite, my stomach felt bloated with nerves, full of butterflies.

The sun had just risen but I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Rain was pressed to my back, his warmth more than enough to keep us toasty despite the lack of clothing, we didn't even need a duvet. His burly arm was slung over my side, his nose nuzzled into my neck even in his sleep, a long muscular leg slipped between my own. I listened to his soft snoring, feeling his chest expand against my back and his breaths fan the nape of my neck.

He'd done so well holding back, waiting until today, I could see how desperate his instincts to mate had gotten but he'd still waited. He'd also promised not to hurt me, I saw the sincerity in his eyes as he'd said it, so I knew he was going to try his best and I was really grateful for that. He now understood that he needed to be gentle and that was some comfort, I was still worried about the audience though. I thought back to what my father had said, it helped a little, but it didn't get rid of my trepidation completely, if it was just Rain and I it wouldn't be so bad, but all of the mated wolves in the entire country...

I sighed deeply and looked out the window at the still orange sky, blue creeping in and showing a cloudless sky.

"Hmmnn Tilden... why up?" Rain mumbled into my neck, the throaty rumble of his voice making me shiver, made even deeper from lack of use overnight.

"I can't sleep Rain, so much is going to happen today... and... I'm scared." I whispered, my eyes welling with tears.

Rain shifted to loom over me, his longer locks heavily mused by the pillow and framing his face as he looked down at me, his sleepy orange eyes gentle and concerned. Whilst one hand held him up the over cupped my cheek, the warm calloused skin comforting and I nuzzled into the large palm. "Tilden scared, why?" he asked softly, leaning down to graze my nose with his, and I purred from the intimate comfort.

"It's not the fights, well mostly. It's just I've spent so much of my life preparing for them, they mean a lot so I can't help but worry but I'm not scared of the fights, I'm scared of the mating rite. If it was just you and me I'd just be nervous, especially after last night." I felt my cheeks warm a bit and he nosed my heated skin. "It's just everyone watching, I get that we come as a pair, if they don't like how our relationship is then hard luck. It's just so embarrassing to think about, I know I should use it to show the care we have for each other, the bond we have, to show I'm proud that you're my mate. I just can't stop thinking... about it... I'm going to be the alpha, submitting to you isn't the problem, it's how they'll perceive me, what I'll do during our mating, I'm scared because I know they're going to hear me, see my face and reactions. How am I going to give orders and lead them, why would they listen after witnessing that? How are they going to take me seriously?" I croaked.

He sat back and gathered me into his arms, I gratefully settled on his lap, and his thumbs brushed away the few escaped tears trailing down my face. "Tilden." he murmured, pressing a chaste kiss on my lips. "Use fights, show you're Alpha, must believe so everyone see." his orange eyes met mine, seriousness in the fiery orbs, the intensity of them hard to meet.