Fell in Love with the Devil (LuciferxSupernatural Crossover)

Wingman [3]

Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Maya stood inside a private room as the leaders looked over Lucifer's coin.

"It's like nothing I've ever seen." A man marveled

Another man took the coin and walked over to the trio "Congratulations, Mr. Morningstar. The Catholics and the Satanists will be clawing for this coin. With any luck, we may have a bidding war on our hands. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Who would've thought," Maya said sarcastically.

"Put a bunch of believers in a room and...pardon the pun...but the sky's the limit." The man chuckled.

"That's very good," Lucifer chuckled.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you don't respect your buyers' faith," Amenadiel said.

"Oh, quite the contrary. I respect my customers' faith very much. But I don't have to share in their beliefs to profit from them," The man chuckled.

"So I take it you're not a believer then?"

"I'm a man that believes in one simple divinity, the almighty dollar,"

Lucifer laughed as Maya only glared at him. "Humans. Am I right?" he cleared his throat seeing Maya's gaze. "I have to admit, I love being the bearer of bad news,"

"Oh? Do tell,"

"The coin's not for sale. I simply used it to gain entree to you," Lucifer said as he took the coin from the table.

"Then why are you here?"

"Someone stole my wings. About six feet, glowing with the light of God. So if you'd be so kind as to deliver them, then we can be on our way without any...unpleasantries,"

"Funny. That's not how this works,"

Maya reached for her holster when she heard the guns cock around the room, Lucifer grabbing her hand.

"Oh, you don't know who you're dealing with," Amenadiel said as he stood up. "Those guns don't frighten us,"

Maya sent a worried glance towards Lucifer.

"In fact," Amenadiel continued "I dare you to shoot,"

"Brother..." Lucifer said.

"Go ahead. See what happens,"

The leader merely smiled as he took a sip from his wine glass.

"And there's that angelic ego I was talking about," Lucifer told Maya.

"I'm sorry, uh...you were saying?" The owner teased.

"Gentlemen, please..." Lucifer laughed. "Don't mind my brother. "He's just a bit...simple. We meant no disrespect, truly,"

"I thought you told me you wanted your wings back," Amenadiel argued.

"I do. But this is hardly the way to go about it,"

"Give me one good reason not to finish this right now," The owner warned.

"Because you misunderstood me. I'm more than happy to buy the wings, like everyone else, with cash. A whole boatload of money. If you truly worship the dollar, then I'm your ticket to divinity,"

Maya couldn't help but snort at the statement.

The owner looked between the trio "Happy bidding," he waved the trio off.

"Thank you," Lucifer sighed in relief.

***

"It's funny, isn't it, how all it takes to unite the faiths of the world is a bit of illegal consumerism," Lucifer said as he, Amenadiel, and Maya walked through the crowd of bidders.

"That and an oncoming apocalypse," Maya said bitterly.

"Mmm," Amenadiel hummed. "What I'd like to know is since when is the Prince of Darkness scared of some insufferable human gun?"

Maya smirked up at Lucifer as she took his glass of champagne "Oh this I gotta hear,"

"Well," Lucifer stammered "since I, uh...I bled,"

"What do you mean, bled?" Amenadiel questioned as he looked over at the Winchester.

Maya shrugged "I may or may not have shot him,"

"Don't know how it's possible, but on top of everything else, seems I'm dealing with a bit of a mortality sitch. Hence: ixnay on the unsgay,"

Amenadiel grinned at his brother's misfortune.

"What are you grinning about?"

"I'm just realizing the gravity of what you're saying," Amenadiel said.

"That I'm allergic to lead projectiles?"

"That even if you don't choose Hell, all I have to do is wait for some pitiful thug to end you and right back to Hell you go,"

"And I'll drag him back up, because if anyone is gonna kill the insufferable prick...it's gonna be me," Maya snapped.

"And here I thought we were getting along," Lucifer muttered.

"You forced me into a dress," Maya reminded him.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," The owner announced "I'm Carmen Grant and I humbly welcome you to our Evening of Faith.

The members of the crowd all began to applaud.

"Tonight we shall behold items that prove the miraculous is real." Carmen continued "There is a power we can't see, but its light burns bright in the priceless artifacts that have traveled around the world and, dare I say, Heaven and Hell, to find their way to you!"

The room once more erupted in applause.

"Without further ado, I would like to introduce you to the first item up for bid...the Lost Chains of St. Paul! According to tradition, St. Paul was imprisoned between 61 and 63 AD. While some pieces are on display at the Papal Basilica...or so they say...these are the missing links,"

"Paul's wrists were too thick to fit in those chains," Amenadiel claimed.

"I know. That man never could pass on dessert, could he?" Lucifer teased.

"He should have been the Saint of..."

"Honey cakes?" Lucifer finished.

Maya cleared her throat "As much as I enjoy a good family reunion gentlemen, may I remind you that we are on the clock. In about five minutes, the FBI's gonna storm this place,"

"But we were just getting started," Lucifer whined.

"Next up...The wings of an angel,"

The group looked up when a curtain was pulled back to reveal a set of pure white wings.

"Oh my God," Maya marveled "They're gorgeous,"

The moment became ruined as the FBI flooded the scene "Freeze! FBI! Everyone, stay where you are! Don't move!"