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alexa, play daddyissues by theneighbourhood
DAY 3
Amelia was slightly nervous.
She nibbled uneasily on her lip, picking at her own fingernails, while she peeked around the corner to make sure that Barnes was still mid-workout. In a desperate attempt to get somewhere on his progress, she had undoubtedly decided to remove his bedroom door from its hinges. Taking away a portion of his control that he used out of anger would likely get a rise out of him.
She tiptoed back towards the entrance of his bedroom, shakily snatched up the hammer lying on the floor, then began to hammer out the nails holding the door together as quietly as she could. She waited until she heard grunting or metal clanging together to hit the hammer, so it wouldn't be quite so obvious.
The door was unquestionably heavier than she expected as she successfully removed the hinges and struggled to prop the door up on the nearest wall. With a deep breath, she wiped her hands on her knees, taking a second to glance around Bucky's room.
His bed wasn't nearly as big as Amelia's, instead, he had twin-sized bed. His room was the exact opposite of her own. His windows were covered with blackout curtains, the room was dimly lit, and the mirror that stood in the corner was shattered.
Before she could examine the room any further, she heard the squeaking of the bench, the same sound that it made the first night she met him when he stood up from it. In a panic, she darted rapidly down to her bedroom, sneaking inside and slowly shutting the door behind her.
There was no doubt in her mind that James wasn't going to like this at all. For someone like him, so set on having all of the control, this could either set him off completely or make him shut down even more towards her.
So, when she heard him shout "What the fuck," she mentally prepared herself for what was about to come.
Bucky was livid. Who did this woman think that she was? His black hair stuck to the sweat on his face from the workout as he picked up the door effortlessly with his metal arm. Without hesitation, he stormed to Amelia's room, then swung the door open with so much force that it smacked into the wall - visibly making her jump.
"What is this?"he asked her through his teeth.
Her heart thudded with adrenaline in her chest as she observed the very angry man in front of her. "Necessary measures," she responded back, making a note to keep her shoulders back and her head held high enough to where he wouldn't notice. She would not back down.
"Necessarymea-" he repeated her words with an exasperated snort, before hesitating and cracking his neck in a way that sent chills down her spine. He precipitously slung his bedroom door back out into the hallway with a loud crash, breaking some of the drywall into a bunch of tiny pieces at the impact. He noticed the widening of her eyes at his actions, the first time he'd ever actually gotten the reaction he wanted out of her.
"James," she said, he immediately noticed the shakiness in her tone. "We have to eliminate your go-to points for your anger. If we can control that, we can control your anger."
"What is it going to take to get it through your thick skull?" he taunted in a growl, closing the distance between them in two giant steps as he jabbed a metal finger against her temple. "I don't. need. a therapist."
"Tell me why you're so angry. What's making you-"
Amelia gasped in shock as his metal fingers snatched her around the throat, squeezing tightly as he brought his face closer to hers. "I'm always angry," he whispered painfully, his breath fanning across her cheeks.
Her throat felt so small in his huge hand, so delicate. He could crush her esophagus in one, hard squeeze if he wanted. But he didn't, instead, he watched her eyes turn from nervous to scared in a split second once she realized he wasn't letting go.
"James," she squeaked, the air hardly making its way to her lungs now. "I can't breathe, p-please."
Her tiny hands grasped onto his metal one, pleading for him to let go as she tugged and tugged. Her plump lips were parted as she tried to suck in air.
"This isn't w-who you want to be," she rasped.
Her words struck a cord inside him. He released his grip on her neck, his lips mashed together in a thin line as his chest rose and fell heavily. Amelia collapsed to the ground, her body melting into a puddle at his feet, as her hands held her throat while she sputtered softly.
He could already see the outlines of the bruises forming on her skin as her beautiful, round eyes looked up at him. He was a monster.
The immediate regret was written all over his face. His eyes stared down at her in shock of his own actions, his lips parted as he breathed raggedly. She could sense the intent to flee, causing her to reach out and grasp his calf tentatively. "Bucky," she pleaded feebly. "I'm here to help you."
The sound of her voice saying his name made him feel even more guilty.
"I don't want your help."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ameliaknew that Steve would be ready to come down here to her rescue if she mentioned the incident to him, like she was supposed to. That would only end up making things worse, so she decided not to tell him about it at all.
Despite James lashing out at her and trying to cause her harm, she was able to see another side of him that was necessary for the assignment. It wasn't anger or sarcasm, he felt guilty. If he knew what he was doing was wrong, then there was all the proof that she needed that he could be fixed. People tend to care about their wrongdoings when they want to change them.
She knew he would need his space after the incident, though, so she concluded that it was best for her to stay in her room for the day.
Instead, she made notes in her journal.
The feeling of losing control made him physically lose control. His fear of not being in control of his life is driving his aggression. I believe Hydra has everything to do with that fear.
