Babysitting the Bad Boy's Little Brother

Chapter 46

Emma's POV

Sometimes, I don't know why I stay, but I do. I love him too much to leave him. I have done everything that I can to keep this relationship strong and going, but I feel like he has stopped trying. It seems like he could care less about this relationship now, especially since we have barely been talking. I love him, I really do. But, shit is just hard right now. I don't know what he wants from me or what he expects from this relationship. Regardless, I know what I want. I know that I need him in my life and that it is very hard to be okay without him. I know that he is the best person in my life and that I would do anything for him. But, he knows this too, and I feel like he is using these things to his advantage because he knows that I won't leave him no matter how horribly he treats me, intentional or not. 

In the past few days, Austin and I have texted. We have talked a little in the past month since things have happened, but he said that he wouldn't intrude or press until I figured out what I wanted. But, I told him the same thing. He is in a bad place right now, so I feel like it is best for him if he would take some time to figure out what he wants for this relationship, instead of me calling the shots on this problem. We need each other, so I'm not sure how long we can keep doing this. But, I shouldn't be the person making decisions. Both of us need to find a common ground so that we can resume our fairytale fantasy and so we can move on with our lives. An hour ago, I texted him and told him to meet me at Starbucks. The Starbucks that I told him to meet me at is the same Starbucks that Alexis and I go to since it has a big lounge area. 

After many minutes of people watching, I see him walk in. He looks different. As he is walking in, he staggers every few steps. This makes me think he's been drinking again. Surely, he wouldn't be dumb enough to drink and drive. Whoever this guy is, he is not the Austin I knew. He is not the person I fell in love with. He makes eye contact with me, and I try my best to not break it. I motion him to take a seat near where I'm sitting in the coffee shop. 

"Hey, how are you?" I ask him. 

"I'm okay. What about you?"

"Okay. But, not for long," I reply and I see the expression on his face change from content to confused. 

"Why?"

"I think we should break up. This isn't working. I can see that you aren't in the right place right now. I think what we've been doing is toxic and that we are only hurting each other by continuing this and trying to make it work," I tell him. This isn't easy for me. 

He looks at me for a few seconds, trying to read my emotions. "Emma, I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted this. I wanted this, and I love you," Austin says. 

"I love the Austin who loved me. The Austin who quit nicotine, alcohol, and other girls. The one who went places with me and who took me places. I miss the dates and all of the fun times we shared."

"I can change. I changed for you before-"

"Austin, we can't keep doing this. I want to break up because I know that it is what is best for us. You need to take time to take care of yourself," I tell him, and I see small tears forming in his eyes. My words are hurting him. 

"Okay. If that's how you feel, then fine. I have no choice but to respect that," He replies and gets up from the chair, "Nice talk." He walks towards the door. 

I get up and walk quickly behind him before he leaves. When I get close enough, we are out of the store, and I wrap my arms around his abs. 

"I'm going to miss you. I know you probably think I'm a psycho, but I want one last hug before our story ends. I don't care if you hate me," I say, and he pulls my arms off him. At first, I think he's going to run away from me, but he turns around and pulls me into him. 

"I don't hate you. I will miss you." He kisses my lips for the last time, and I taste the alcohol that I assumed that he had consumed before meeting me here. After less than a few minutes of staying in his arms, we break away. I walk towards my car, and he goes to his truck. When I get in my car, I delete his number and unfollow his social media. This is it. 

I turn on a random playlist, and I begin crying in my car. I decide not to drive while I am crying, so I just sit there and scroll through the news on my phone. One article sticks out to me, and I read "New York woman reported missing for months now confirmed dead." My jaw drops. Carrie. It's been three months since she went missing. I kept reading articles on the investigators and search teams hired by NYPD, but I never received any updates. I shared information on social media every week, even though I was so caught up in my own drama with my boyfriend. Honestly, I think the break between me and Austin was so long because he was unsure of how to comfort me as I was going through a lot emotionally due to Carrie's disappearance. Now, she is dead. I need to fly to New York to take care of her apartment and her cat, but I don't think I can handle being there anytime soon. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I learned that my Aunt is dead. As if losing my mom wasn't hard enough. That leaves Amber, Peter, and Dom. Why wasn't it Amber and not Carrie? I'm still in shock and disbelief. 

A huge part of me blames myself for letting her go on that date. I thought she would be careful, but obviously, she was not careful enough. Dom has been working like crazy lately, but she probably knows about Carrie by now. The articles from New York news stations were published eight hours ago around seven this morning. According to the articles, her body was found yesterday. The funeral will be in two days and closed casket. That means I have no choice but to attend. 

When I get home, I book a plane ticket to NYC. When Dominique came home from her job, I informed her of everything that I had learned. She then insisted that she too get a ticket and attend the funeral and visitation. Dominique and Carrie weren't close since she is Amber's daughter, but Dominique said that she should pay her respects to our Aunt. Dom goes to her room to watch tv while I fix myself a salad for dinner. I eat my salad, and I hear the news in Dom's room discussing Carrie as one of the topics. A few seconds later, I hear The Vampire Diaries. I feel sick from being reminded of her, so I go to the bathroom and take a shower. My plane boards at 2 pm tomorrow, and I should be at the apartment sometime tomorrow night. I wish my mom was here. Sure, she wouldn't want to be here knowing that her younger sister is dead. But, I would have some kind of support other than Dom. Sometimes I wonder what my life would look like if my mom was still alive. I wonder if she would be proud of me. Probably not, since I can't even be proud of myself. 

After I shower, I text Alexis about the breakup and the death. She immediately calls me after reading my text. On the phone call, she assures me that everything will be okay and tells me that she is sorry that all of this has happened. She's been busy lately with life and being social. It's Alexis, so she is always doing something. Alexis said that she would come over, but I told her that I probably need some space and some sleep. After watching Friends for almost two hours, I take a melatonin and go to sleep.