XLVIII. What Could Have Been

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Laura pulled away from Lily’s tight embrace, and looked at her. Horror was written all over her tear-streaked face.

“Oh, God, Lil,” she whispered. “Please forget I said that.”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked in complete confusion.

“Remus didn’t tell anyone but his friends . . . he’s never told anyone. I shouldn’t have told you. It’s his secret . . .”

“Laura . . .”

“No,” Laura said. “No, pretend I never said it. Just forget that it happened. It wasn’t my secret, and it wasn’t my place. I’m just so . . . I don’t know what made me do it.” Her tears began again. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to make you understand . . . I wanted someone else to have to share this burden. Oh, God, I’m a horrible person! I’m so sorry, Lily!”

“Shhh,” Lily said, hugging her close again. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re upset. Don’t worry. I won’t tell.”

“Thank you,” Laura whispered. “God, Lil, I never wanted to do anything to hurt Remus.”

“I know that.”

“But I did hurt him, didn’t I?”

“I’m sure he’s upset right now,” Lily said carefully.

Laura buried her face in Lily’s shoulder. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this. I wish things could be like they were before.”

“Then why don’t you go talk to Remus? I’m sure you can work this out.”

Laura shook her head. “He didn’t trust me,” she said in a small, lost voice. “I can’t . . . I can’t be with him, but I don’t know who I am without him.”

Lily stayed with her for quite some time, holding her tightly, helping her calm down. Laura finally pulled back from her friend’s embrace. She tried to smile, but failed.

“Thanks, Lily,” she said, wiping the tears from her face. “I really needed a friend, even if I didn’t realize it at first.”

“You shouldn’t be alone right now,” Lily said softly.

“I know that now,” Laura agreed. “I’d really just like to go back to my dormitory and sleep for about a week.”

“Will there be someone there with you?” Lily asked.

Laura nodded. “One of the girls is always hanging around the common room. Even if no one’s there right now, I really need to go back.”

“You’re sure?” Lily asked.

“I’m sure,” Laura said.

“All right, then. But I’m going to walk you back to your common room.”

Laura nodded her agreement. The two girls left the prefects’ lounge, and walked to the Ravenclaw common room in silence. They reached the entrance, and Laura turned to Lily.

“Thanks, Lil,” she said. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Lily replied at once. “If you need to talk, or anything else, come and find me, all right?”

“I will. I promise.”

“Good.” Lily hugged her close. “Sleep well.”

“Thanks.”

Lily watched as Laura disappeared into her common room, then turned quickly. She practically ran back to Gryffindor Tower. She had to find James. She had to find out if this was true. She had to hear the whole story from him. If it was true . . . If Remus was a werewolf . . . The very thought made her shiver. She couldn’t handle the idea of Remus suffering like that. It wasn’t right. Remus was a good person – he was one of the sweetest people she knew. He didn’t deserve this curse. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.

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