LII. Realization

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“Well. That was . . .”

“Yeah. It was.”

“What are we going to do?”

“How are we supposed to act now?”

“Do you think we should join?”

James, Lily, Sirius, Olivia, Remus, Dana, Peter, and Laura made their way toward Gryffindor Tower after their meeting with the Headmaster. It never occurred to them to suggest that Laura should go to the Ravenclaw common room. She was one of them now. She had as much right to be a part of their discussion as any one of them.

They reached the common room, and Sirius gave the password. The Fat Lady swung open, admitting them to the large room. It was empty. The prefects must have imposed an early bedtime. James was glad. He didn’t think that any of them could handle dealing with their fellow students. The well- placed gestures of kindness, the trying-not-to-be-obvious questions, and the awkward stares would be too much.

James sat down on the nearest couch. It was well-placed, with plenty of seating arranged around it in a circle. Lily joined him on the couch, curling up next to him. James put his arm around her, his fingers absently playing with her hair.

“Well?” he asked as his friends sat down. “What are we going to do?”

“There’s not much we CAN do,” Remus sighed as he dropped into a chair. “Dumbledore doesn’t want an answer yet.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t think about it,” James said. “What do you guys think?”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Olivia said. “Joining the Order of the Phoenix is the best way we can make a difference.”

“I agree,” Sirius said. “I think we should do it.”

“What do you know about the Order, James?” Lily asked. “I mean, your parents are members, so you must know more than us.”

James frowned, trying to recall that long-ago discussion with his parents. “They told me about as much as Dumbledore told us tonight. It’s like he said, I guess – they aren’t really supposed to talk about it with anyone who isn’t in the Order. I remember my parents saying that I couldn’t join because I was too young. I wanted to join so badly – we were talking about it right after Olivia’s neighbors . . .”

“Right after they died,” Olivia finished quietly. “Maybe this is all about revenge, guys. I mean, when James first wanted to join the Order, it was out of anger on my behalf, and now we all want to join because of what happened to Kathleen. But that’s not why we should do this.”

“You’re right,” Remus said. “We should join because it’s the right thing to do, and because we want to help those who are living, not to avenge those who have died.”

James sighed, and ran his hands through his hair. “I was fourteen the first time I heard anything about this organization. Now I’m seventeen. Don’t you think that three years would have made a difference in the way I perceive what’s going on around me?”

“I know that it has,” Lily said, reaching up to touch his cheek. She smiled slightly. “When we were fourteen, I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with you.”

“Thanks, love,” James laughed.

She smiled again, and kissed his cheek. “I don’t mean that in a bad way. I’m just saying that we’ve all grown up and changed a lot since we were fourteen. I mean, it doesn’t even make sense to allow a little boy to join an organization of war, but it makes sense to offer that same membership to a group of people who are nearly adults. This is our world as much as it’s your parents’, or McGonagall’s, or Dumbledore’s. We have as much of a right to defend it as any of them.”

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