Scars (Ziam)

The Flat

Sorry for the massive delay in updates! But I am back with a new chapter for you all!

Warning: Mentions of depression, muggings/knives, grief and the car accident, and a reference to suicide. Please read carefully!

With that being said, there are some cute moments here, and things pick up a bit in the next few chapters, so get ready for progress! :)

(Pic above is sort of what I imagine Zayn's flat to look like.)

Enjoy!

Chapter 35:

I was tapping my leg in the passenger seat furiously as I leaned against the window. I stared out at the passing objects-- street signs and street lights-- that blurred as they went. Zayn was driving, a quiet melody pouring out of the radio.

"Are you nervous?" Zayn suddenly asked, making me tense as I sat up straight and gave a small nod. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and he smiled, keeping his eyes on the road. "Why?"

"It's the first time I'm seeing your house," I admitted. "It just feels... different."

"Hmm," He hummed out. "Good different or bad different?"

"I don't know. Just different." I couldn't explain it. It was just this weird acknowledgment of the fact that we had grown closer. We used to spend time together in the warehouse that was his art studio. Now, we would be inside of his home.

"It'll be fine, Li," He offered, setting his hand down over where my own rested. I felt my cheeks heat up as his thumb rubbed against the back of my hand. It was soft and gentle. He kept his eyes on the road, seeming unfazed by his own actions while it was killing me inside.

I thought about the knowing look Ruth gave me when she overheard me asking my dad if it was alright to go with Zayn when we finished the tour and setting up a date for my therapy. She wiggled her eyebrows at me, making me full out blush a deep red that was probably hideous with my scars. I knew she would have questions as soon as I arrived home. I would probably evade them.

My dad was still rather concerned about our relationship. I saw the worried look in his eyes as soon as I mentioned that it was Zayn's house we would be going to. He hesitated before giving his approval, but I knew it was only because he cared. He didn't have some sort of dislike toward Zayn, which I was thankful for. In fact, he was still rather kind towards the man and thanked him for being there as support with all of us.

"My dad knows about us," I confessed suddenly. Zayn stopped at a red light, glancing over at me. He tried to smile, but I could see the worry in his eyes at the news. "Um... not us as in 'us,'" I fumbled out, "because we're not dating or anything, but he- uh, he knows about my... my feelings for you. That I like you."

I averted my eyes. It was as if the temperature increased in the car. Was his air conditioner broken? My cheeks felt like fire.

"Yeah?" He questioned. When I dared to glance up at him, I saw a proud smirk on his lips. "Does he know how I feel about you?"

"...I told him that we liked each other, but we weren't doing anything. I told him that I wasn't ready for any kind of romantic relationship." It was exactly what I told Zayn when he kissed me. As much as I longed for him to hold me; to fall into his arms and forget the world, I knew it would be selfish and reckless to do. I was still so messed up. I had to work on myself before trying to offer affection to someone else. "It concerned him quite a bit. I think it's because you're a little older than me, and my mum's reckless behavior is all something he sees as a potential risk being passed down. You know, you have your life together while I'm crumbling apart and massively vulnerable."