Scars (Ziam)

A Little Bit Okay

Hello everybody! I'm alive!

I am so, so, so, so incredibly sorry for my absence, but I was/am dealing with a lot of mental health stuff, and it hasn't been easy for me, but I took a break and am ready to write and update again. In fact, I am so excited to be writing some more! I missed it!

With that being said, I do have some sad news.

This story is almost complete. I know, I know, I just came back, and I'm dropping this bombshell on you all. However, the outline I have for this story only has fifty-something chapters to it before it ends, and I don't see that changing any time soon. We still have a short way to go, but I really hope you all stick around until the end.

I will also be posting an author's note soon about potential stories to take the place of Scars, and I am assuming you all want another Ziam centric one? (I have many prepared btw)

This chapter is more of a breather and a check in on Liam's own mental health before the story moves forward with the dinner next chapter.

Love you all and take care!!!

Chapter 47:

    "And how did it make you feel to hear that?" Dr. Phillips questioned, smiling kindly at me.

    "I don't know. I guess..." I paused, picking at one of the loose threads on the leather armchair I was sat in. "I think that I wanted to not believe it, but that wasn't possible. I trust Zayn, and I know he wouldn't lie to me."

    "And why do you feel that you didn't want to believe it?"

    "It's just hard to imagine that someone could actually feel that way about me. That anybody could ever like me, especially romantically, sounds like a joke to me." I looked up from the sofa and met her eyes. "But, like I said, I know that Zayn was telling the truth. He likes me, and he wants me to have an official dinner with his family as his boyfriend."

    "How does the idea of that dinner make you feel? Do you have any apprehensions?"

    "I am a bit nervous, but I don't think it's in a bad way. Usually when I'm nervous I feel my hands shake and my throat feels tight, like I can't get any breath in, but this is different."

   "I think I understand the feeling. I think I felt the same way when I walked down the aisle at my wedding. Nervous but excited, yeah?" Dr. Phillips offered.

    "Yeah. I've already met his family, and they actually like me..." I paused, trying my best not to say the words 'for some reason.' It was still a little hard to monitor my vocabulary from negatives to positives. "They're all really nice, and his mum seemed to know it would go this way without us saying a word. But it's still terrifying."

    "But you're facing it, Liam, and that is really brave of you. You've come so far since our first session. You've managed to hold your head up, you are mending your relationship with your family, and you're making new friends. It takes a lot to make it this far, and you've done such a wonderful job."

   "I had a lot of help," I admitted, thinking back to my amazing new friends and how supportive my family has been. It used to make me shut down to think that they just wanted me to brush everything off, but I realized that wasn't true. It was Zayn who helped me realize most of what I knew now.

   "Everyone needs help sometimes, and you found a good support system. That's important during any recovery."

    I nodded in understanding. So far this was the easiest session I've had. I was having a pretty good day so far, in terms of where I'm at mentally, and it was unusual, but I wasn't against it. Still, I had to be honest with myself and Dr. Phillips.