Scars (Ziam)

The Ember

Here's your update everybody! I hope you enjoy it, and I just want you all to know that louskiwis is hosting a lovely contest for all ziam/larry writers. I am participating as a judge, so if you have any work you would like to enter, go check out her contest book!

WARNING: This chapter does contain some darker, depressing thoughts. This is really the beginning of Liam and Zayn's blossoming relationship, but it is also the beginning of Liam's struggle with his mental health. Please read cautiously and always reach out if you need help. I am always here to talk. :)

I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 16:

    It's been exactly a week since Zayn and I made the promise to hang out over frozen yogurt, and I haven't seen him since.

   At first, I didn't care as much. I was busy setting up therapy sessions with my family, trying to find an affordable therapist with times that would work around my schedule. The affordable part was probably the most difficult part. Eventually, Nicola found a therapist with a decent pay rate, and she helped me schedule my very first session for the weekend. Worry and anxiety were eating away at my mind during the whole week.

    He seemed to have disappeared right after promising that fact, and I felt so much shame. How could I allow myself to even consider having a friend when I knew it seemed far too good to be true? Why was I stupid enough to accept his request?

    I was still working at the café with his uncle, though I spent most of my time in the back room baking bread and sweets for the shop rather than interacting with customers. I was okay with the arrangement. I didn't want to be seen anyway.

   There was something calming about baking bread. Kneading the dough with my own hands, twisting it and molding it into the shapes I wanted, and then getting to see the final product gave me an honest sense of accomplishment. It was like I was finally able to create something that wasn't brought out of pain or self-sorrow. It would help other people, make them happy, make me feel useful. It wasn't something that would just fall apart beneath my fingertips.

    I was just taking a pan of freshly made croissants out of the oven when I heard the door open to the kitchen. I looked over to see Laurence entering the back room with a satisfied smile.

    "Today's a great day. Steady business, no rushing nor moving too slowly. How about you go on and take a break now? I think you've made enough bread and pastries to last for a lunch rush. Just be back within the hour," He informed, and I didn't really know how to tell him that I didn't have anywhere to go on my break, so I just nodded and took off the apron I had to wear. I hung it on a hook on the wall, but I paused in the kitchen doorway, turning back to Laurence to see him already placing the croissants on a plate to take out to the front.

     "Have you...." I trailed off, feeling idiotic for even thinking of asking the question. Still, it was too late to take it back as Laurence turned to me with his eyebrows raised in question. I sighed, looking at the ground as my voice came out far too desperate for my liking. "Have you heard anything from Zayn? When he'll be back?"

     "No, Liam, I haven't," He replied, and I nodded numbly, already turning back to the door to leave. "Don't take his sudden disappearance personally," Laurence called out, and I waited for him to continue. "Sometimes he gets an idea, and he locks himself up for days just painting away. It's hard to reach him when he's in that sort of mindset. I have no doubt that he's at his studio just creating. As soon as he's finished, he'll likely tell you all about it first."

   I peeked over at him to see him smiling, and his reassurance was comforting, but it didn't change the fact that Zayn left me all alone right after making a promise that he must've known was important to me. Maybe I was overreacting, but I couldn't afford to trust people so freely.