19. The Kiss

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"I want to kiss him right now "

No! what am i even thinking, i shouldn't do anything stupid but the temptation is irresistible.

Ugh can't Pandora just seal the sin of lust away, I'm just giving in to my temptations.

My heart is beating so fast that suddenly i grew aware of all the slightest sounds, the rustle of leaves, the wind's little  taps on the windows , owls hooting, songs of small insects but  mainly of all, my heart that is beating at a dangerous pace.

He was still sleeping peacefully unfazed by my rustling and movements. His hair fell messily across his forehead and his lips........ Oh god his lips were slightly parted, it's like they're asking me to touch them with mine.

Looking at him like this puts me into a reverie

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Looking at him like this puts me into a reverie. I think it will be fine if i died right here right now because the last think i lay my eyes would be on him, an enchanting being.

I slowly moved closer to him, just inches away from his face, I moved closer and closer until i could feel his soft lips,i kissed him though it was a soft gentle kiss, it felt like stars were dancing across my skin, reds of the sunset wishing to set on my cheeks, butterflies not wanting to stop dancing in my stomach and a faint smile never leaving my lips.

I know that he wouldn't even know i kissed him, i don't want him to, call me selfish for that only i, want to remember this sweet moment,It's more than enough for me.

i pecked him again for the  one last time and moved back,exploring his  beautiful features and plopped back on to my side of the bed.

I look pretty normal on the outside but I'm a burning kettle on the inside right now. I just kissed him!! Kissed taehyung!!

Forever is not enough to love him the way i want. Isn't it silly how a person could love someone so much just by a single glance.  Is it fate? Or is it destiny?  Whatever it is called i would pledge my body and soul to it, for it to keep us together.

What if you're the one for me but I'm not the one for you?  These thoughts again..
These painful thoughts that keep me up at night. My agonising pain is still the same from years ago....  Have i lost myself to the sins of regret?  Or the most beautifully abandoned sin of gaining you?  Which one is it that i have to choose?

But  it's crazy how two years ago i used to watch him from afar and fill the blanks with my imagination about him.  I'm just fascinated by everything he does,his smile, his touch, his laughter.

I'd like to go back in time when i first met him and fell for him but he never knew me  and  go back to the past few minutes where i daringly kissed him and tell to  myself that
" the taehyung you knew years ago is different from the taehyung now. The taehyung you thought had no flaws came back to you with nothing but his flaws ,so now you have to love him a little more than before"

I looked at him again and whispered  before i fell asleep
"Two years ago you put a spell on me and it still hasn't broken"

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