Fashion Week |H.S.|

25:Love?

Hadley POV:

I walk through the crowded casino floor, trying to find anything to distract me. Kendall doesn't know I left and I'm expecting her to freak when she notices I'm gone. When I find a door with an exit sign above it, I push through and feel the crisp fall air brisk my face.

I find a bench to sit on and grab the cigarettes out of my jacket that I grabbed before I ran out of the hotel. I bring the white stick to my lips and light it, slowly inhaling the toxic chemicals before blowing them out just as slow. I watch as the cloud of smoke trails out of my mouth and disappears in the air, I'm shaking.

"This seat taken?" I hear a familiar voice, causing me to turn my head.

"Kendall," I look back out to the busy street.

That's what blows my mind. There are hundreds of people on this strip and yet none of them know that I'm friends with a mafia member.

"What happened back there?" She furrows her brows.

I stop before speaking. I can't tell her; I won't tell her. I don't know if the boys are in on it, I can't spread false information.

"Why does this hurt so bad?" I finally look at her, tears brimming my eyes. "I mean, we aren't even dating, I shouldn't care that he lied about something, I shouldn't care about any lie he tells me. So why does it still hurt?" I vaguely tell her.

"I have the answer, but you won't like it Had," she shakes her head.

"What do you mean?" I sniffle.

"Remember when we just became friends?" She shifts in her seat so she's facing me.

"Yeah," I nod.

"We talked about love, you told me that when you notice small things about a person is when you know you're falling in love," she looks at me with a look I can't quite depict.

"Ok and?" I furrow my brows.

"Hadley, tell me the first things that you notice about Harry when you see him," she crosses her arms.

"Well first off, his awful posture, second is he does this thing where he grabs his bottom lip between his index finger and thumb, usually when he's thinking, and his eyes have the smallest tint of yellow in them," I spit out quickly.

Kendall's lips tug up at the corners and she shakes her head with a subtle exhale. What could she possibly be smiling at? All I did was answer her question and-

"There it is," Kendall looks at me with a cocky expression.

"You don't mean?" I raise my brows.

"You're falling in love Hadley, and you didn't even know it," she shakes her head with a dumbfounded expression.

"Love?" I feel like my jaw is on the floor.

"It hurts so bad because someone you love hid his life from you, even if you aren't together, it still hurts you because people you love aren't supposed to hide things from you." She tells me, even though she has no idea what he is hiding.

Love? I don't love Harry. Harry is the prime example of a bad boy, he literally has killed people, he does coke, he is the worst person to love. I do not love Harry. If I love Harry that means that I have hit rock bottom. I'm in a relationship with David.

"But David," I look back at Kendall.

"Name 3 things about David that you first notice when you see him," Kendall asks the same question but with David.

"Easy, He's uh- tall, he snorts when he laughs, and umm... his eyes are brown," I come up with the first things that come to mind but for some reason they come out slower and they sound stupid.

"Babe, we all see those when we first see him," Kendall shakes her head.

"Okay look, you are being ridiculous!" I laugh. "Doesn't everyone notice Harry's posture?" I arch my brow.

"Possibly but they sure as hell don't know about his weird lip thing or the fact that his eyes have a hint of yellow in them," she says.

"I'm just an observant person," I shrug.

"Denial," Kendall shakes her head.

"You don't know what you're talking about, I'm tired so I'm going to head to bed now, please don't be out too late yeah?" I smile and stand to my feet.

"Oh hun, you're down bad," she chuckles.

I roll my eyes and keep walking. Kendall isn't a dating expert, she's a model. I make my way back into the casino, the loudness of people flooding my ears, making me flinch a bit before quickly adjusting to the noise.

As I'm making my way back up to the room my mind goes back to the night that Harry came to my house and we smoked, we also talked about love and what it was. Harry said he didn't believe in love, he told me that if he can't see it then he won't believe it's real. I think we compared it to God.

"Yeah, I mean it's like love," he starts. "How can I believe in love when I can't even see it?"

"You can see love," I argue.

"No, you can't," he shakes his head.

"Of course, you can, if you look hard enough," I state as I turn my body to face him. "It's not the big acts of affection that show love, it's the little ones."

"How do you figure?"

"It's things like, opening the car door, buying flowers for them on a random day, complimenting them when they least expect it, and when you start to notice small things about a person like freckles you've never seen before," I list off a few things that mean love to me.

"That's all it takes?" He chuckles, passing me the weed.

"Not everything has to be big and extravagant," I laugh.

"I guess you're right," he nods. "Still don't believe it though."

"Just wait, one day you'll find a girl who makes you do those tiny things and you'll know," I whisper.

"I'll never be tied down," he sticks out his bottom lip and shakes his head.

"You'd be surprised," I say.

That's a conversation I will never forget, he made sure I knew that he would never be tied down to someone, I can't be falling in love with someone like that. Even if I could get over the whole gang and killing people thing, I can't love him.

I make way out of the elevator and to our floor when I hear the boy's door open. At first I thought it was just some party goer that was headed out but when I realized the music had stopped I looked up.

"Hadley," Harry stops in his tracks. "Are you-"

Before he gets to say anything else I quickly scan my key card and walk into my room, closing the door behind me. I can't talk to him right now, it's all too much. I can't look at him and not think about the conversation that Kendall and I just had and the fact that he is a textbook definition killer.

I need sleep. Sleep.

Fuck me.

I turn back to the door and open it quickly, Harry still standing on the other side, just about to knock.

"Hadley," he smiles softly.

I look at him blankly. "I need you to leave me alone."

His smile drops as he takes a step back. "Please."

I shake my head. "I can't even look at you right now so please, go." I feel tears coming back in my eyes as I shut the door and lock it behind me, going straight to my room.

I cannot and will not fall for Harry, not after tonight.

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Okay, tell me why my 15-year-old brain had her making out with Harry right after he admitted to being a serial killer.... miss girl bffr.