Welcome to the Family

30

Trigger warning. 

Child abuse and mentions of SA.

***

I picked at the ugly orange cushion, unable to take my eyes off of her, afraid my imagination was playing tricks on me. "Cameron," she said, looking over at him, "why don't you give us a few minutes?"

My older brother glanced at me, uncertain. I nodded, and he stood, messing my hair on his way out. "Alright, I'll be right down the hall." He left the hospital room and I stared at my hands.

"Maisie," my mom said, after a moment, "let it out. Let me have it."

I narrowed my eyes, looking up to meet her eyes. What am I supposed to say?

Her dark eyes squinted. "Come on, you much have something to say, especially after all these years." She was baiting me. She wanted me to break. "I faked my own suicide, leaving you and your siblings with an evil man, living a whole new life while you and Micaela were beaten. You must have something to say."

My nostrils flared. "What the fuck is wrong with you? How dare you make me go through that, alone! We were all alone, you faked your own death without a damn concern about what he would do! He hit Micaela, almost every fucking day. Nothing you can say or do will make me forgive you."

"What did I do to make you stop loving me? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something, please tell me!" I wanted to cry, holding back a sob.

She didn't deserve my tears.

"No words or actions can ever, ever make what I did right," she said, shifting in the bed. I took a deep breath, biting my lip. "I hurt you and I will never be able to take that back, I know that and I don't expect you to want me in your life."

"So, what do you want from me? Why am I here? Why did you help Jaime and Cameron find me?" I hissed, picking at my thumb, wincing as I dug into my skin. "I didn't want to be found."

Her eyes filled with sadness and she managed to swing her feet, planting them on the floor. She seemed worn out and I felt a tiny, really tiny, tug at my heart. "I know you didn't, baby girl. You gave everyone a run for their money." She walked over to me, limping, using her cane. When she collapsed onto the chair across from me, I

"Should you be doing that?" I asked, about to stand and push her back into bed.

Her rolled her eyes, panting. "I'm fine," she said, and reached into the drawer, taking out a candy. She offer me one but I shook my head.

"Why did you abandon your own children? What kind of mother does that?" I hissed and I felt a sharp ache in the back of my head, a migraine brewing. "When you tucked me in bed the night before you left, you drugged Ashton and I, didn't you?"

She didn't deny it, angering me more. "Royce would have killed me, Maisie. If I didn't leave, he would have killed me. I had to make a choice."

"I met Denver a year before I faked my death. I fell in love with him ... but I never stopped loving you and nothing you did or said made me leave you. I did it to protect you, whether you accept to or not."

"How do you think you dying would protect me?" I asked, shaking my head. "Protect us? You didn't protect anyone but yourself and threw us to the wolves."

"I know," she whispered.

"Why didn't you come back for us? You could have come back for Micaela, Ashton, and I. You never even tried."

"No, no, I did try." My mother closed her eyes. "Your Uncle Peter found me. I had mentioned to Amelia about leaving ... she must have told Peter. Telling Amelia ... that was a mistake. He found me, me one night Denver was on a business trip and I traveled to Michigan to meet with lawyers. I was in the motel room, alone, he broke in. He, he ... beat and raped me," she whispered, her face twisting with sorrow.