Welcome to the Family

67

My hands trembled as I splashed water on my face. I cried into my palms, hoping to Hell no one heard me. I wanted to hit something so, so bad.

I killed a man.

I killed Elias.

His blood is on my hands.

"It's not the first time I've killed someone," my mind shouted. The crowd cheered wildly, boos and cheers infiltrating my concentration. They were desperate for blood. I focused on my opponent, a black girl with two boxer braids down her side. I'd been surprised at how much taller than me she was, but I quickly learned she wasn't a good fighter when we entered the cage.

"Fight!" Elias called, the bell signalling the beginning of the final round. Her name was Bonnie, and she had made a swift punch to my ribs earlier. I was sore and tired and wanted to be done but I knew I had to win.

Troy would have a fit if I lost. He hated losing. "Get this over with, Sweetcheeks!" I heard him call from the ground behind me.

I lunged forward, dodging her left hook and struck her with my leg foot in the hip. The crowd cheered as she stumbled.

I landed another blow to her leg and punched her face. Once. Twice, three times, making her head snap back, blood spurting out of her nose and mouth. Bonnie fell to the cage floor, dropping to her knees.

"Finish her, Maisie," Troy yelled, demanded. I had to do as he said or else. I knew that, but I didn't want to. But I had to; I had no other choice. "Fucking knock her out."

I punched her again and again and again until her head finally snapped forward and she collapsed onto the ground. Bonnie lay facedown in her own blood.

Troy clapped his hands, a menacing grin plastered over his face. I glanced back at Bonnie. A bald headed man stepped into the cage and walked to her side. He leaned down over her, checking her pulse.

"No," I whispered, my hands trembling, blood smeared over my knuckles and palms. "No... I - I - I I'm so sorry."

Troy raced into the cage and grabbed my arm. He stared down, his eyes cold. "Keep it together. Or I'll beat the little ones."

"Ladies and gentlemen, looks like we have a beast one on our hands. Give it up for Sweetcheeks," Elias called to the crowd, "her first kill."

I ran from the cage, away from Troy, as they carried Bonnie out. I puked all over the toilet, sobbing at the most horrible thing I'd ever done.

I felt sick thinking about it and clawed and my face, wanting the images - the blood , the gore, the racing thoughts - you're a monster, you're a monster, you're a monster, to end.

Oh God. I am a monster, just like him. I couldn't control my rage and I killed Elias, even though he deserved it. He'd taunted the girls in the cage, the fighters, using bodies to objectify us, to break us down, to use his words against us.

I threw up in the sink, not able to contain the images of the blood. A knock on the bathroom door made me take a deep breath in. I glanced over my shoulder to see Isobel open it and close it again, holding out a cold cloth.