sarah paulson mental health one shots

coping

wilhemina venable - coping
content warning : self harm and depression

-

you woke up in the arms of your girlfriend. she had been gone for a week on a business trip and had come back last night.

"good morning baby." she kissed your forehead.

you smiled at her. she stood up from the bed and pulled the covers off of you.

"minaa."

"shh. get up."

you obliged and got out of bed.

"what?"

"get dressed."

she slid on a pair of casual pants and a lilac sweater. you picked up a pair of grey sweatpants and a tee shirt.

"come on."

she took your hand and the two of you made your way out the door and into the car.

"mina, where are we going?" you asked about five minutes into the drive.

"you'll see." she took your hand into hers and squeezed it.

around a half hour later she pulled down a dirt road.

"is this the part where you murder me?" you asked jokingly.

she chuckled and shook her head. after a few minutes of driving down the dirt road she pulled into a grassy patch. the two of you got out of the car. the view of the city was gorgeous. she sat herself down and patted her lap.

"come sit."

you sat down in her lap and she rubbed your head.

"i'm gonna say something." she tightened her grip on you a little. "and i don't want you to be angry, or to try and run away, okay?"

you were panicking. what was she gonna say? and then it hit you. you relapsed while she was gone. you had been so eager last night that you had forgotten about them entirely.

"something tells me you know what i'm about to say, but i'm going to say it anyway."

you took a deep breath and bit your lip.

"last night, when we were... well-"

"having sex?"

"yes." she inhaled. "i noticed cuts on you. and if they were scars i wouldn't even be bringing it up, but they were fresh, y/n. they didn't even look three days old."

tears were filling your cheeks.

"i understand how hard this is to talk about, but i love you. and i want to help you through this, but i can't do that if you won't talk to me."
"mina i-" you were at a loss for words. "i don't know what i'm supposed to even say."

"i know."

"sometimes the pain is just too much, and i need a way to let it out."

tears were welling in wilhemina's eyes.

"sometimes i can't feel anything and doing... that makes me feel something. and it wasn't your fault, but while you were gone it was my outlet."

"i get that. but it's not healthy."
you sighed, knowing she was right.

"i know mina, i'm trying though."

"i know you are, and if you ever need me, i'm here."

you nooked your head under her chin and she kissed your forehead.

-

authors note : sorry that this is kinda awful its hard to write her in such a comforting way, plus im just not a pro writer