sarah paulson mental health one shots

what happened?

wilhemina venable - what happened?
content warning - anorexia, self harm, specific calorie amounts, specific weight loss mentions

-

everything was going downhill. for a while you'd been clean from cutting, and you had made significant progress in recovery from your eating disorder. and then you had one bad day, just one, and it was enough to throw you completely off the rails. you couldn't eat more than 800 calories a day again, and you had cut yourself so much that both of there was barely any vacant space on your thighs. aside from your self destructive behaviors, you'd also completely cut off everyone for the last week. most of your family didn't think anything of it, as you'd never regularly spoke to them anyway, but wilhemina was going out of her mind. she had texted you and called you literally hundreds of times, but you were too disgusted with yourself to even answer her.

"y/n!" loud knocks accompanied wilheminas voice.

you were in workout shorts and completely drenched in sweat because you'd just been exercising. you were so fucked. wilhemina knew everything about your eating disorder, she was the one who made you get better the first time. she knew how your brain worked, and how she could help you, even if you were resistant.

"i'm coming."

you opened the door to reveal an angry wilhemina.

"what the fuck is wrong with you? i thought you had died!" she shouted, before even looking at you.

"i'm right here. and i'm fine."

when she finally looked at you, her face dropped to a more sad look.

"you're not fine." she whispered, and then hugged you tightly. "go sit in the living room, i'll be there in a minute."

when she told you to do something, you did it.

you were absolutely screwed. you'd lost at least fifteen pounds since you'd last seen her in person, and your thighs were covered. wilhemina entered the room carrying a glass of water.

"here baby," she rubbed your forehead. "drink something please."

you hesitantly sipped the liquid, afraid it would make you gain weight.

"it's just water, nothing will happen." she reassured you, seeing the fear in your face.

"thank you mina, but i'm fine."

"babygirl, what happened?"

"nothing happened."

you acted as if she couldn't see the obvious weight loss, or the cuts along your legs.

"look at yourself."

"i do plenty of that, don't worry." you said sarcastically.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean it like that."

"i am perfectly fine mina." you repeated, trying to convince her it was true.

"okay." she sighed. "let's go shower and get something to eat."

the idea of eating drove you into a panic, but you reluctantly agreed.

"okay."

"i'll go start the shower." she stood up and kissed your forehead, and then went to the bathroom.

after you heard the shower running for a while, wilhemina called you in. the two of you undressed, and you climbed into the shower, her following.