sarah paulson mental health one shots

suffocating

sally mckenna - suffocating
content warning : self harm, depression, separation anxiety, mention of smut but nothing descriptive, drug addiction
authors note : this is probably so ooc sorry

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you had been dating sally for only a few months but she had made you feel more alive than ever before. some might call you clingy, and while that was true, so was sally, so even though it might have been slightly unhealthy, at least the two of you were dependent on one another and it wasn't one sided. whenever you were with her you felt like nothing in the world could hurt you. along with that though, whenever you were away from her it felt like the world was caving in around you. you hadn't seen her in almost a week and you were on your way to the hotel cortez to see her. as soon as you got into her room she pulled you into her arms.

"y/n!"

you kissed her lips and she immediately started to undress you. after she took your pants off she stopped.

"what's wrong?"

"baby," she traced her hand along the cuts on your thighs. "what happened."

"sally, it's nothing." you pulled away from her and started to get dressed.

"that doesn't look like nothing."

"drop it sally."

"tell me what's going on."

"no. you don't see me sitting here questioning you about all of the marks on the inside of your arms from all the drugs you do."

her face dropped and you immediately regretted what you said.

"way to throw a low punch."

"i'm sorry." you muttered. "i didn't mean it."

"you know that i haven't done drugs in years y/n."

"i know."

"if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine. but you should probably just go if that's the case."

you stood there, deciding what to do. you didn't want to lose her, which meant you had to talk to her.

"sometimes i just feel like i'm suffocating and i need a release, and hurting myself gives me that release."

"i get that." she stood up from the bed that she was sitting on and made her way towards you.

you inhaled and she took your hands into hers.

"i get that more than anyone. but just like drugs, it's not heathy."

"i know."

"i wanna help you baby." she pushed a strand of your hair out of your face.

"i don't want to put that responsibility on you."

"i'll be just fine."

"promise?"

"of course."

she pulled you back into her arms and into a warm hug.

later on, the two of you were laying in bed together and she was stroking your hair.

"i'm really sorry about what i said earlier, sally. i really didn't mean to hurt you. i just panicked and said it out of impulse."

"i know, baby. you wouldn't say something to hurt me on purpose."

you kissed her on the cheek and grabbed her hand, feeling at peace for once.