sarah paulson mental health one shots

overwhelmed

billie dean howard - overwhelmed
content warning : slight smut, nothing past making out

-

it was that time of the year again. finals were coming up, the semester was ending which meant loads of work to finish, and the bar that you worked at wanted you to pick up extra shifts. on top of that, you had the crippling pressure of being the perfect girlfriend. of course, you put the pressure of cooking for her, cleaning for her and giving her perfect sex on yourself. billie would be fine if you didn't do those things, but you wouldn't be. you were an overachiever, a perfectionist. you had to do everything perfectly or your head would explode. but lately, this feeling was overwhelming you.

"billie?" you shouted through your shared apartment.

she wasn't home yet. you immediately rushed to start dinner, deciding on making an easy salad with chicken. once you put the chicken in the oven, you began to pick up the house. there wasn't much to do, so you just swept the floor and loaded the dishwasher.

"honey?" billie called through the apartment as she walked in the door.

you immediately put on a smile and walked to her.

"hi baby." she kissed your forehead.

"how was work?"

"exhausting."

you knew exhaustion just as well.

"oh i'm sorry."

"it's alright. the interns just can't figure out how to use the damn cameras and all that."

you sighed.

"dinner's cooking."

"baby, you didn't have to do that."

"i know, but it's the least i could do."

"i love you so much." she wrapped her arms around your neck and kissed you.

"i love you too." you laughed. "but now i gotta go finish dinner."

you went back to the kitchen and reached to pull the chicken out of the oven. as you were pulling the end of the pan, your hand slipped and the entire pan and its contents fell to the floor.

"fuck!" you yelled and immediately started crying.

"hey, it's just chicken." billie came to you and rubbed your shoulder.

"no now it's all ruined!"

"baby, i'll just order takeout. it's alright."

"no it's not!" you were bawling your eyes out and didn't even know why. it was damn chicken for fucks sake.

"okay, go wait for me on the balcony. i'll be out in a minute alright?"

you reluctantly went out to the balcony and watched the city. after a few minutes, billie stepped out and sat in one of the chairs.

"come here." she patted her lap.

you walked to her seat and sat down in her lap, snuggling your head into her chest.

"what's goin' on?" she rubbed your head.

"i dropped an entire pan of chicken that's what's wrong." you sniffled.

"baby, i know you, you're not crying over the chicken."

you huffed.

"talk to me."

"i'm just so overwhelmed. i feel like i have to do everything all the time or else i've failed at everything. but constantly having to be the perfect girlfriend, perfect student, perfect employee, perfect everything is just too much pressure."

"oh baby, i'm sorry. i should've noticed and started to do more."

"it's not your fault. i should've said something."

"how's this sound? we alternate making dinners and cleaning. i'll cut down on filming days and you can cut down on work too?"

"billie you don't have to-"

"trust me, i want to."

"promise that you're okay with it?"

"of course."

"i love you billie."

"i love you too."

"i should probably go cook something else for dinner-" you stood up.

"i ordered pizza."

"and the chicken on the floor-"

"i picked it up."

you smiled at her and she stood up.

"now i have some ideas of what we can do while we wait for the food."

"i'm very interested." you giggled.

she lifted you from under your legs and carried you inside, flopping you on the couch. she climbed on top of you and placed her lips on yours, interlocking them in a sloppy kiss. just as she reached to unbutton your pants, the doorbell rang.

"ugh." you huffed.

"we always have later." she winked and stood up, adjusting her hair as she opened the door.

she walked to the kitchen table, holding a pizza box in her hand.

"smells good." you got off the couch and made sure that you looked half decent.

the two of you ate, making small talk about your days and all that.

"thank you for this billie. seriously."

"of course my baby." she placed her hand on yours.

-

authors note : ew i hate this