Chosen || Draco Malfoy

22 - Natural Highs

"Go with you? Where?"

"To the Hogwarts Christmas party, of course. Here." I reached across the table to slide the leaflet in front of Harry so he could read it, "I thought it might be fun."

We were in the library working on our lesson plans for the DA. As much as I enjoyed our 'underground' classes, I was starting to feel exhausted by it all and longed for a break, when the leaflet caught my eye.

He looked at me curiously, green eyes blinking through round glasses. "You do remember I'm a ghost, don't you? One that no one can actually see or hear except for you."

"Exactly," I shrugged. "So all the more reason we should partner up. I mean... who else could you go with?"

"But- but don't you want to go with an actual date?" Harry murmured, wrinkling his nose which somehow made him look kind of cute. "You know... one you can dance with or even... kiss?"

He flushed, as though embarrassed that the word had left his lips in the first place.

"I'm sworn off that kind of dating," I muttered, thinking bitterly of Chen. Rumour had it he was taking Susan to the party and even though I was the one that dumped him, I couldn't help but feel violently angry about the whole situation.

"Well, then... if you're sure?" Harry asked tentatively, giving his glasses a little lift. "What will you tell people, though?"

"That I'm self-partnering," I said brightly without missing a beat, "apparently it's so in right now, as is decaf coffee - it's all about the natural highs these days, you see."

Harry looked at me with a completely bewildered expression on his face. "Self-partnering?"

"Cosmo says that you can't work on self-growth or self-actualisation whilst relying on a partner for support and pleasure. Before one can even think of trusting another with one's heart again, we must go on a journey to honour ourselves above all others and take time to heal our past hurts first."

"Oh, I see," Harry nodded with the look of someone who didn't see at all. "Shall I pick you up at eight, then?"

*****

The night of the party, I found myself feeling rather excited. Especially as I had found out the day before that I was going to be spending Christmas at Grimmauld Place with Sirius.

"Great, have fun," Harry had murmured dully when I shared this exciting news with him. "Wish him a happy Christmas for me, would you?"

"Can't you come too?" I asked, feeling oddly disappointed. For some reason I'd just kind of assumed he'd go where I go.

"I've tried, but I can't get in," he sighed heavily. "Must have something to do with the protective charms on the place."

"Oh, would you like me to ask-?" I began, about to suggest I confide in Dumbledore or even Sirius.

"NO." Harry cut in, preempting what I was going to say. "Besides... it's best this way, gives me a bit of a break from you."

His eyes gave a mischievous twinkle as he teasingly poked his tongue out at me.

"More like me a break from you," I snickered, going to poke him in the side, only for my finger to go right through his ribs.

It never failed to feel like reality pouring cold water over me whenever this happened, bringing us both immediately out of our playful mood. For some reason, the lack of being able to touch each other was difficult to accept, despite the fact that apart from that final day when we held hands going into the maze, we hadn't been at all close when he was alive, let alone physical.