Finding Mercury// Z.M

Damaged Mercury

Chapter Nine.

The next time Zayn saw Mercury was two days later.

He was busy with exams coming up and he just couldn't risk failing them.

 though showed up each night and sat down staring out at the ocean. 

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, she wasn't supposed to fall for this guy. Something certainly has to be done, but she doesn't know if she actually wants to do it.

She can't just leave him high and dry. He's just starting to find himself, how could she leave him to break down again? It's an inevitable thing to happen. Though, now she doesn't want it to happen.

Not just for his sake, but for hers as well. 

Those two days without him gave her enough time to think. Think about what's to come.

How did she let this happen?

"Merc? You're here early?"

"It's ten, Zayn. You're here late." She laughs out.

"Okay, that's besides the point. How's my favorite girl?"

"I don't know? Why don't you ask her? She's laying down in bed right about now."

"Wait what?"

"Safaa? You said she was your favorite sister."

"Oh, well yeah. But you are my favorite girl beyond Saf."

"I feel special!"

"You should, I don't usually let girls get this close to me."

Hearing Zayn say this was like a wake up call for Mercury. He was falling just like she was.

"Zayn-"

"Mercury, will you go out with me? Like on a real date. One that's not at ten at night. One where I take you to dinner or just take a simple walk on the beach. One where I hold your hand and tell you how gorgeous you look. I want to hear about ever aspect of your life. Please, Merc."

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, she knew this was coming. She saw it, though she still managed to get closer with him. Zayn thought what he had said made her cry because she has been waiting for this.

Because what he said was the cutest thing anyone has ever said to her. He was wrong.

"Zayn."

Mercury took a minute to try and catch her breath, her tears still threatening to spill out of her eyes. The anticipation was killing him. 

As the second passed, every ounce of hope he had of her saying yes vanished more and more, until there was none left. His smile had dropped as his hands went in his pockets waiting for her to say something. Anything.

"Zayn, I can't. I love what we have, I do. And I wish I could give you the answer you're looking for, but I can't.

I wish I could be the girl you take to meet your mother and sisters.

I wish I could be the girl to make you happy till the end of time. But I can't. I'm not that person, Zayn."

And just as he feared the most, she had rejected him. Zayn felt so embarrassed. Of course she wouldn't go out with him. He was nobody to her. She probably had better, hotter guys lined up just waiting for their chance to be with her.

"What are you talking about? You do! You do make me happy! Can't you see it?! Everything I do, everything I am, is because of you! If I hadn't met you that night who knows what would've happened! I was a mess, Mercury! You helped me! You helped me so god damn much. Christ, Merc. You are everything I am looking for."

"You don't understand, Zayn. I'm not who you think I am. I'm damaged. Poor little, damaged Mercury. I can't give you anything you want in this world, Zayn.

You don't understand how badly I want to say yes-"

"So then say, yes!"

"I can't!"

"And why can't you."

"You'll understand soon enough, Z."

"See, you keep saying that but I never fucking understand. What's there to understand, huh? Please, enlighten me more on how I picked the wrong girl, yet again.

You know what? 

I thought you were different, Mercury. I thought you liked me! Turns out I was wrong. You are just like everyone else. Just a bitch who keeps things from me to get my money."

By this point the tears Mercury was trying to hold back had spilled over. Zayn knew exactly as soon as he said it, he made a mistake. He never wanted to make her cry. And before he could try and apologize, she spoke up;

"Do you ever stop to think that I keep things from you to prevent hurting you? But you don't care, do you? I can't tell you what's going on because it will ruin everything. But my feelings don't matter to you. 

If that's what you really think of me, then fine. Just know, what you just said, hurt way more than anything I've ever endured.

I do love you, Zayn. Way more than I am supposed to. 

None of that matters though because I'm just a bitch who is after your money."

With that Mercury ran off into the night without a second word from Zayn. This wasn't how tonight was supposed to go. He even told himself that he wouldn't get upset if she said no because he couldn't risk losing her. He didn't actually expect her to say no, though. 

Why the hell did he get so upset about it? 

She has the right to say no. 

He knew he fucked up and he had no clue on how to fix it.

For now his heart had a huge gape in it, the size of a 5'2 red-head.