don't blame me

xxvii, tongue tied.

act two, chapter twenty seven. tongue tied.

no one had told the fans the eleven had met up, and they were going to remain silent until they went live later on when 'the roast of tom and olive' occurred. it was happening in forty minutes, and olive was scribbling every single bad thing down about tommy she could think of, without overstepping boundaries.

speaking of boundaries, here's what they were —

• no bringing up catherine as a whole
• no bringing up charlie as a whole
• no bringing up tommy almost cheated on catherine
• no bringing up olive breaking tommy's nose (it can be said but not with context)
• no bringing up collin or any mention of olive's past relationship
• if you have to think about if it's okay to say it or not, it's probably not
• no bringing up olive's parents (it's okay to make fun of her for being adopted, but not make fun of the way she's was an orphan or the way they died)

so with these (which weren't very hard to follow, hello — common sense), but as long as olive has known tommy, she didn't really know what to say.

"literally just call him gay, he'll get super defensive about it," dream said, beside her as he helped along. "he'll be like, 'i'm not gay, i hate you olive' blah blah blah."

"no, he can just come back and say 'but aren't you dating me? you're dating a gay man?'" she dropped her head against the desk in the hotel room. "i wonder if he's having this much trouble."

"OH HO HO, THAT'S A GOOD ONE WILBUR," tommy laughed as he scribbled down another roast on a piece of paper. "i should call her irrelevant. wait, no, she gets mad at me when i say that. she always threatens the 'b word'."

"what's the 'b word'?" jack furrowed his eyebrows. "bitch?"

tommy laughed. "no, jack. 'b' as in ... break up. she's terrifying when she does that. emotional manipulator arc? this is why she and dream get along so well. THAT'S IT!"

the blonde scribbled down on the paper once more, wilbur looking over his shoulder and reading it aloud. "has a sibling bond with dream? tommy, she could easily come back to that."

"yeah? with what?"

"you're like a brother to me, tommy," wilbur mumbled, just loud enough for tommy to hear. the blonde boy burst into basically flames at this, and would not stop repeating it. "just saying, she could come back with that."

"but dream is way worse than you. they're literally both green," tommy laughed loudly. "oh, there's another one. she claims she hates dream because he's green, when literally some olives are green too. oh, and she bases her brand off of olives even though if she eats one, she'll go into a literal coma."

"oh!" tubbo and ranboo chorused, making them both giggle. "when is this happening, again?" ranboo asked, pulling out his phone and checking the time.

tommy leaned back in his chair. "in thirty minutes."

"welcome folks!" wilbur waved with a microphone in his hand and smiled to the stream. "you could've been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us in brighton, england!"

olive rolled her eyes as she adjusted her position on the couch next to tommy. there was already the original eleven of them in the room, but there was also james marriott, wilbur's bandmates (ash, mark, and joe), tommy's editor (elodie), callum (seepeekay), and basically everyone that had possibly been there during the tom simons and olive adria roasts.

the raven haired girl's knee bounced up and down in a mix of excitement and anxiety. what had tommy prepared? she tried to inconspicuously look over and see what his paper read, but there was always at least someone watching the two of them.

"let's cast a vote - uh, mods can we cast a vote?" wilbur asked tommy's stream. "for who to begin this?"

the chat decided on olive to begin, because apparently they all visibly saw how nervous she was and 'wanted to put her out there'. she sighed shakily.

"uh - hi," she waved and held onto her paper tightly. "so, remember the roast of tom simons? yeah, so when wilbur repeatedly said those funny sentences where tommy would ask to eat something but then not wait for an answer? it's fucking true."

this caused everyone in the room to laugh, boosting her ego slightly. "whenever tommy and i are out to eat, like last friday we were out eating sandwiches and i didn't eat the slightest of my sub, he just looked down at it, and said 'are you gonna eat that', and not even done with his own sub, he ate mine."

everyone in the room laughed loudly, and tommy was yelling "FUCK YOU!" very loudly behind her into his microphone. olive sat, and the other boy now stood up and began talking.

"i will not confirm nor deny that statement," he muttered. "uh - olive's current username on most platforms is 'olivefromthegarden', yeah. she's never been to olive garden."

"I DON'T LIKE ITALIAN FOOD!" olive groaned and leaned back.

the anxiousness slowly faded away from olive, her and the boy going back and forth more and more, causing everyone to laugh once more. the stream found much enjoyment in this as well - and that was it, all olive wanted to do. was help people have a good time and just relax.

that was until olive and tommy got into a playful fistfight, but then turned into a boxing match. this definitely took a term after he made a joke that technoblade was going to be the second worst thing to happen to her.

"LET'S FUCKING GO, RIGHT NOW," she yelled, jumping up and down and punched the air as wilbur and dream moved the podium and couch out of the way. wilbur went to tommy's corner, and dream went to olive's. "I'M GONNA ROCK YOUR SHIT, TOMMYINNIT."

"NO, THIS IS AGAINST TWITCH TERMS AND AGREEMENT!" he shouted back.

"IT'S FINE, IT'S ON YOUR ACCOUNT!" dream jokingly warmed her up and every now and then would look over to see tommy's look of dead fear. "he's so scared considering you broke his nose at some point."

olive laughed loudly.

"wilbur, i dunno if i should do this," tommy itched his neck and glanced to dream, who was showing olive certain fighting techniques. "she broke my nose once, man. she's been in fights before, she can totally take me, dude."

"tommy, don't be a pussy," wilbur chuckled and patted the blonde boy's shoulders. "just remember, at the end of the day, you two are sharing a hotel room."

"oh, holy shit."

niki stepped in the middle and blew a plastic whistle that ash won at an arcade a while back. "round one, and probably final round because tommy looks exhausted even though neither of them have swung! uhh - fight? i dunno?"

she stepped back and the two both stepped forward towards each other, olive looking seriously terrifying in tommy's eyes. she wasn't going to do anything, maybe punch him a few times in the arm and bruise him ever so slightly. she wasn't gonna break his nose, or anything.

"please, ollie," tommy whispered. "friendly, friendly!" he shrieked as she began chasing him.

"this is a fucking boxing match! there are no friendlies!" olive wheezed loudly, causing tommy to as well. and before you knew it, there were two teenagers that were absolutely crying of laughter on the floor.

"uh - i have zero idea what just happened," wilbur shrugged to the stream. "but be sure to join olive's stream either later today or tomorrow, 'cos the two have actually something really special and wholesome for you guys, it makes me wanna die. bye!"

— olive !
i made friends today i love
them they ride the bus with
me #besties