The Human's Alpha

Chapter 19

Liam

I thought Lily and I had made some progress at Thanksgiving. I thought she was opening up to the possibility of us being friends, but after our celebration, she went back to her cold demeanor as if nothing had happened. I was really hoping the hug we shared would be a turning point in our relationship. It was the first time she ever initiated physical contact with me, and it felt amazing. Her body contoured to mine perfectly and she fit in my arms as though she were a missing piece to my puzzle. I rode on the high of the sparks that filtered through my body for the rest of the day, and even got a better night’s sleep than I usually do. My wolf resumed some normal conversation with me, on the hope that he would get more interaction with his mate. So the next morning when she barely uttered a response to my ‘good morning’ and left the house without another word, we were both confused and upset.

The whole next week continued in a similar fashion. We rarely spoke and didn’t spend any time together. I offered to go to the school with her again, but she declined saying Callum was going with her and I wasn’t needed. I even asked her to watch a movie with me. She looked at me as if I just asked her to go to an orgy with me. She said she was tired and went up to bed. If possible, my wolf retreated even further into my mind. I’ve never seen him so upset before. I think my initial reluctance to strengthen the mate bond was hard enough on him, but to have his mate seem happy and close to us only have her pull away so abruptly was almost too much for him to bear.

I was sitting in my home office doing some paperwork when I felt a sharp stab of pain in my chest. I rarely go to the packhouse anymore for work. It seems like Lily’s scent is the only thing that keeps my wolf from shutting down completely. The pain grew and I became concerned for Lily. Since I marked her, I have been able to peek into her mind to see what she is thinking. I rarely use it since she doesn’t know I have the ability or how to block me. It feels like an invasion of privacy, but right now I’m more worried than anything. I open the link and see she is in her room, watching a Christmas movie on her tv. She’s crying and looking at pictures. Pictures of her family. A deep grief pierces through me and I stand to go see her. I walk swiftly down the hall and knock on her door. I hear her sniffle quickly and the rustling of paper before she calls me to come in. I push the door open gently and appraise her appearance. A wrinkled t-shirt, grey sweatpants, fluffy socks with red rimmed eyes and a runny nose. My heart breaks just looking at her.

“What’s wrong, Lily?” I ask gently.

“Nothing.” She responds, wiping her nose.

“You and I both know that’s not true.” I say as I walk gingerly towards her. I don’t want to be forward and sit on her bed, so I pull a chair up next to her and sit down.

“I don’t know why you care.” She says as she rolls her eyes.

“Of course I care. I don’t like to see you upset.” She scoffs and scoots away from me.

“You mean your wolf doesn’t like to see me upset. Let’s not pretend I mean anything to you. The pack and your wolf are the only reasons you didn’t reject me.” I furrow my brow at her and try to reach out to take her hand, but she yanks it away.

“Where is all of this coming from, Lily?” I keep my voice low, trying to express my honest concern.

“Why didn’t you just reject me and let me go back to my life, Liam? We would both be so much happier.”

Well, why don’t you just kick me in the balls while you’re at it. Here I thought she was happy. That she enjoyed the pack. I feel a twinge of anger building and try to keep it at bay so we can have a real conversation.

“I thought you were starting to be happy here. I really thought once you immersed yourself with the pack, you would be happy.” I say honestly. A tear rolls down her cheek, and I reach out to push it away, but she doesn’t let me.

“Don’t touch me please.” She says curtly and I sigh deeply.

“Lily, I was not exactly thrilled when I first found you. I think we all know that, and I won’t deny it. But I was an ignorant idiot. I know I could have handled things better but, after spending some time with you and seeing how well you do with the pack, I’ve grown to care for you and was hoping that someday we could at least be friends.”

“I don’t want to be friends with you, Liam. I want to go back to my life and stop playing pretend. I want a real job and a real relationship with a man that I love. You can never give me that which means I will never be happy here.” I frown and look at her as she starts to cry again.

“I can try.” I say after long moment.

“What?” She asks.

“I can try to be what you need. I’m just scared.”

“Scared of what?” She asks as she scooches a little closer to me.

“Scared of losing you. Both of my parents and my little sister were killed in a rogue attack six years ago. That’s partly why I was upset that you were human. If my family of powerful wolves could be decimated in one attack, what chance does my human mate have? Sure I was never one for the hearts and flowers kind of shit, but what really worries me is getting attached to you, and having you leave me to live in this world alone. Without your light, your kindness and your joy. I don’t think I could bear it Lily. I really don’t.”

“Liam…” Lily says quietly. “I wish you had told me sooner. Things would have made so much more sense.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a shitty mate. I think we established that already.” I let out a humorless laugh and look at Lily. There’s none of the familiar pity or sympathy I usually get after I tell someone my story. Just understanding.

“My parents were killed in a car accident while I was in high school.” She says quietly. “So I guess we sort of have one thing in common.”

“What a shitty thing to bond over.” I say as I reach for her hand again. This time she lets me take it and gives me a small smile.

“Can we start off with friends and see how it goes?” I ask quietly. She looks at me for a moment before she nods, and I exhale a breath of relief.

“Christmas was always my favorite time of year.” She murmurs quietly turning her attention back to the movie she was watching. “I think that was part of why I was crying. I miss the music and the decorations. The feel of the season.”

“Well, Christmas is still over two weeks away. We can decorate if you want. Put up a tree and everything.” Her eyes brighten and she gives me a genuine smile.

“Really?” She asks hopefully.

“Yes, of course.” She moves over on the bed and pats the spot next to her.

“Come watch this movie with me.” She says. I move onto the bed, adjusting the pillows behind me. I look at the screen where a half-naked man has a hose down some kind of drain. I furrow my brows and look at her in confusion.

“This is a Christmas movie?” She giggles and grabs the remote.

“Let’s watch it from the beginning.” She says as she rewinds it.

“What else would you like to do for Christmas?” I ask her. She thinks for a moment and looks at me.

“What if we bought little gifts for every child in the pack and had a party to pass them out.” I nod.

“That’s a great idea, I think they’ll love it. Maybe on Christmas Eve?”

“Yes!” She exclaims. Then her smile turns mischievous and there’s a glint in her eye. “And you can dress up as Santa Claus.” I can’t help but chuckle.

“What’s with you and putting me in weird costumes?” She shrugs and looks back at the screen.

“It’s a chick thing I guess.” I reach down to hold her hand again and I’m surprised when she let’s me. I let the sparks flow through me and feel a deep sense of calm radiate throughout my entire body. I relax into the pillows and she rests her head on my shoulder.

“Fine, but I refuse to be fat.”

“Sure.” She giggles. “You can be a fit Santa. But you know what all this means?”

“Another trip to Sam’s Club?” I ask. She shakes her head.

“Nope. Even better. Target!”