The Swap (Jenlisa)

Chapter 18

There are things in life Lisa has yet to fully comprehend. Meaning, there had been instances when some certain life events still confuse her. An example of this is, cheating. Yes, cheating. Not the ordinary cheating in class kind but the one where a person who is already in a romantic relationship with someone suddenly thinks it's okay to sleep with another. Said person would then go and repeat the 'mistake', as they would famously like to call it, for as long as weeks or months even until their significant other eventually finds out. But why keep the relationship when you're 'unintentionally' enjoying nights with somebody else? Wasn't the point of having an affair a clear sign that you no longer want to be with your partner? And please don't even think of waving the sympathy card or the 'But-I-don't-want-to-hurt-him/her' card. To Lisa, that's complete cow poop. Whatever the answers are, reasonable or not, it's still wrong and in the end, Lisa still doesn't understand.

But then maybe if 'cheating' was the only topic Lisa had to be confused about then maybe it would have been easier. Because at this moment, Lisa Manoban has found another situation to be confused about and this one could possibly take the cake.

Growing questionable feelings for your best friend.

Lisa knows attraction, she knows what it's like to have a crush but when her best friend of more than 10 years, the one person she considers like family, makes Lisa's heartbeat in a weird rhythm she has never felt before then what do you call that?

It's confusing.

There a lot of possible culprits for this confusing situation. The romantic beach, with the upcoming sunrise bathing the waters in a deep orange glow, the comforting warmth of bodies sitting next to each, and even the perfectly warm cup of coffee that has got her heart pumping loudly. But she figures that the biggest culprit would have to be the damn song that is currently stuck in Lisa's head like super glue. The evil song is now, as she concludes, severely illegal to Lisa's ears. It makes her feel all sorts of things which involve her best friend, of all people. It doesn't even help when that soft, smooth voice flows in and out of her head which then eventually triggers all the other body parts that aren't her head. Unbelievably, this predicament is currently testing her self-control. To those people whom she can count on one hand, those who know her, if it involves things outside the heart Lisa is someone who has a reckless sense of control, turn to pages 2014-2015 of Manoban & Park's epic college years. It's a different story when it comes to matters of the heart and that, Lisa insists she has perfect control of. This is why, despite the numerous relationships she's tripped into, the truth is, Lisa Manoban has never really fallen in love, at least the reckless kind of love, the one that you have no control of. All these years Lisa has built boundaries and limits around her heart out of fear, fear that if she did she'll only end up cooking a recipe for a broken heart. However, as it seems, said boundaries and limits are currently being in danger of being shattered. The reason being, if she wasn't mistaken, her mind is clearly fogged up for her to want to kiss her best friend in a way that wasn't just sexual but would certainly leave cracks all over the walls she built. Which is weird, strange, disturbing, and disgusting.

Did she really just want to make out with a family?

True, Rosé is pretty, sexy, and smart, all the qualities of an awesome girlfriend, that, Lisa admits, but never ever in her life has she thought of her as more than just a sister or doing all these other illicit thoughts to her. It was extremely absurd that Lisa wished to whack her head with any object but that would obviously kill her so she resorts to something less physical.

Avoidance.

The very thing, Lisa has perfected all these years. Other than, masking the pain, hiding her real emotions, keeping her guard up, pushing people away, and leaving, avoiding the problem is one of Lisa's best defense mechanisms.