"The moon is beautiful isn't it?"
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Love cut people short, and with her past catching up to her and a new guy she's bound to fall in love with, can she keep up with herself, and her past?
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regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).
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faster.
harder.
faster.
harder.
"Oh my god Jason." She moaned as her hair wrapped around my hand.
"Vee, oh my god."
"Who the fuck is VEE?" shit.
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"You said the wrong name?" He asked, shaking his head. "You take a girl home and you fuck her, you don't say the wrong name!" He shouted.
"I forgot." I groaned, sitting down on the chair.
"You forgot? YOU FUCKING FORGOT?"
"You act like my father, please shut the fuck up."
"Jason, you get a girl, and you fucking moan the wrong name." To say he was disappointed was an understatement.
"I was thinking about her and how we weren't talking and it just slipped."
"Thinking about others girls during sex?"
"It was an accident."
"This is why you can't be with Vienna, Jay, you'd fucking ruin her."
"Just like every other girl, I get it."
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Beauty. A simple word filled with emotion. The beauty standard, the beauty of the world. No matter how much hate was in this world, somehow everyone was beautiful in their own way. The way someone grinned when they were excited or the small smile lines on someone's face. Everything could be found with beauty in them, but sometimes that beauty deceives you.
Vienna Moon was pretty, she was perfect even. Her smile, her laugh, her personality, everything about her.
I liked her, in the way that she was a friend. Someone I could talk to, have late night talks, call a friend.
Vienna had made me smile, made me think about her all the time. I knew Roman was right. Every girl I'd come to love only got hurt by me.
Cheating and lying. I was a terrible person. I was a selfish person, I hurt everyone. The least I could do was acknowledge it.
I felt terrible, every girl I hurt was like a bruise, except I wasn't the one getting hurt, in reality it would've been Vienna. But Roman had stopped me from invading her life too much.
The bullshit I would've pulled probably would've hurt her more than I'd ever been hurt. I just wanted to forget about it, for even 3 minutes just pretend like she didn't know I existed.
Didn't remember me laughing at her jokes, didn't remember me brushing her hair from her cheek. Didn't remember our cafe talks and life lessons.
I felt like the only thing I could do was disappear from her life. I knew it would hurt her, but in the long run, she'd be grateful, and not even know it.
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"Have you apologized?" Cara asked over the phone.
"I can't, it's not like I have her number."
"Then find it, you idiot. You like her, go after her."
"She's my friend."
"Friend?"
"Yes Cara, she's my ex-friend."
"It's not ex just yet, FUCKING FIND HER!" She shouted.
"She probably doesn't want to see me, I mean it's been three weeks."
"Jason fucking Saint, get your ass off that couch and out the fucking door, find her."
"Where?"
"Do I look like I live anywhere near you? FIGURE IT OUT!"
"Oh my god fine, now go finish your shit."
"See you laterrrr." She held our her 'r' prompting the small grin she always had was on her face, something I always found beauty in.
The call dropped as I grabbed my coat and headed out the door, I was prepared to find her.
Cara was my favorite ex, the only one I had managed to somewhat stay friends with throughout all my relationships. She was smart, which was weird because I didn't run in circles with people who happened to get good grades, or follow rules, but she was an exception.
She and Roman would always fight, Roman claiming that I was an asshole with the tendency to only cause harm no matter how hard I tried to keep the peace. He wasn't always wrong but Cara always defended me, her grin plastered on her face as she fought his harsh words, pushing past the walls I had put up to protect myself, no one else had ever bothered trying to break those walls that reached the skies down.
I didn't ever really understand why Roman was my best friend, he made me feel like I was really worthless, overdramatic and stupid. He was rich and kind to everyone, he didn't hurt girls like I had only learned to do. He would protect them, but the only problem with that was he was really only doing it to gain their trust, and use them, right before he threw them away, like pieces of trash.
Cara was really the only one who had seen through his tricks and manipulation, which is why she was so stuck on breaking him, on fighting him.
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Red flashing lights and blasting music, clubs. I could tell Sam loves clubs, and Vienna had once told me drinking solved very little problems, unless she was sad.
I could tell I hurt her, I was sorry, I would apologize, if I could find her. Drugs and alcohol, the poison of the normal world.
I could see her in the lowly distance of the dark and low club, filling her body of toxic pain killers only the broken could pull down.
I watched as she danced up on some guy, I wasn't jealous, just concerned. His hands ran down her body as she could barely feel anything.
Fucking weirdo. I could feel the anger radiate through my whole body as I walked behind him.
"Get your hands off her, now."
"Fuck off." He scoffed.
"I'm giving you three seconds."
"You can't do shit."
"1."
"2."
"3." I grabbed him by the arm pulling him away from her. My fist connected with his face as people watched in horror. He deserved what he got. My knuckled bruised and my mind twisting I looked over, Vienna backing up as he started to speak.
"Jason?" She faintly asked, her words slurring.
"Vee."
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a/n: super short i've very sorry but the next one i swear i have so many ideas for but i really hated this chapter and would like to pretend like i only did this to lead up to the next one!
