"The moon is beautiful isn't it?"
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Love cut people short, and with her past catching up to her and a new guy she's bound to fall in love with, can she keep up with herself, and her past?
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weakness: the state or condition of lacking strength.
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She even looked pretty when she slept, her soft wind escaping her lips, in and out. My head sat in her lap, her hand laying on my chest.
Her eyelashes are long, why did I never notice that.
Her lips are pretty, really pretty, why is she so pretty?
I lifted my head off her lap, pulling the blanket up and onto her.
I don't open up to people, I don't tell people about my sister. No one hears about my life, except Vienna, she's an exception.
I don't know why she's one, I don't know why I tell her these things. Why do I open up to this girl, some girl.
She's not some random girl anymore, she used to be, she should be. Maybe I should push her away again, force her out of my life. That way she won't get hurt, won't end up like every other girl in my life.
It was wrong to lead her on and just push her away after, maybe I could change, maybe I couldn't.
I crawled out of bed, my messy hair being tucked behind my hair, the curls springing out.
I walked to the kitchen, careful to make sure my steps didn't wake her up. Her beautiful eyes made me feel so alive.
Aurora, made me feel like a person.
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The sun rose, the coffee brewing in all its drinking glory.
My back hit the doorframe, looking out the window as the colors in the sky mixed, it was beautiful.
I liked to think that I always looked at the sunrise and ponder on my thoughts when Vienna was asleep in the other room, but it really was just that I was trying to escape her, clear my own mind.
I keep thinking, wondering.
What if I do love her, really?
Would my mom be proud? I think she'd liked Vienna.
What would my sister think of her?
Maybe these thoughts were idiotic , or dumb, I should know about my own feelings. I should know how to love, how to stop pushing this girl away to save her.
Tears started to well in my eyes, my fingers wiping them away. My father always said tears were a sign of weakness, I didn't believe in that.
I heard the ruffling in the back, Viennas footsteps pattering against the floor as I turned to face her, she looked tired for a girl that slept basically only an hour.
I looked down at her, the braids in her hair messy, small pieces of hair sticking out.
I was almost frozen in time, my cup of coffee placing down on the counter next to me as I muttered my words.
"I'm sorry." I said under my breath, her eyes looking meeting mine.
"Stop being sorry, we all make mistakes."
"I just happened to make too many." I slightly chuckled, trying to break the painful mood.
"It's okay Jay."
"You need to stop forgiving people too easily." I voiced, her small smile fading.
Don't stop smiling. Your smile keeps me going.
"Life is too short to hold grudges." Her eyes flickered down to my lips and back up, her foot taking a small step back, forcing a distance between us.
"It doesn't mean everyone deserves to be forgiven." I whispered, my hand tucking a loose curl behind her ear.
"Everyone deserves second chances."
"Not everyone has a dead sister and an overdosed mom."
"Jay-"
"I'm sorry, but I cant love you back."
She stood silent for a second, like she was in shock.
"It's okay, I cant force you to love me." She whispered, like she could barely process her own words. Her lips touched my cheek, the small heat she had, warming me up.
She turned around and walked toward the guest room, the door closing slowly behind her, the small trail of silent tears trailing behind her.
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a/n: short chapter with a lot of meaning. i hope you enjoyed :)
