BIKER WITH BENEFITS

:: 39 ::

BACK TO WHERE IT ALL STARTED

Xiao Zhuochang P.O.V

I'm sitting in my room with gege and my photo. The only one we could take before gege left. The picture I cherish so much! I wish we had more time! But our time was so short.

Four years wasn't enough to make up for the fifteen years we haven't had together. I wanted to protect him and I couldn't.

I left the framed photo on my nightstand when the wedding card of Haikuan ge caught my eyes. I remember bringing it to my room to check it out in the morning. But I'm only getting to do that now.

I open the wedding card and there was two names written in beautiful calligraphy. Wang Haikuan & Li Mingyuan. So you're finally settling down.

Haikuan ge is uncle Wang's oldest son. I remember having a crush on him back when I was in highschool. I used to see him a lot in the parties mom used to attend for dad. He was like a fish upon the sky for me. Something I wanted to reach but couldn't. Slowly but surely it turned into something more and I got scared. Scared that it would be on the way of his career. But I never realised what he had. He had someone he loves. And that wasn't me.

One day in one of those parties I heard him talking about someone called Zanjin that he loves. That was the day I gave up on ever telling him about my feelings. And maybe that's for the best.

Uncle Wang is one of dad's very good friend so we have a close relationship between the two families. Maybe that's what made them accept easily how Wang Yibo loves gege. But what about me?

I was never the first choice for anything. I wasn't the first choice for dad. I was a baby that broke a family. I was never even an option for taking over the hospital. Yes, dad did pursue me to take medical major but wasn't it because gege wasn't here and he wasn't sure if gege would accept the proposal of taking over the hospital? I wasn't the first choice even for Haikuan ge.

He may be way older than me but if you like someone you just do. It never happens calculating reasons and gains.

But it's okay. I'm a first choice for someone. Who chose me and only me. Who hopefully will never choose anyone else over me.

That's Mianmian.

I'm calling her to ask her to be my date for the wedding.

"Mianmian! Are you free this Wednesday?"

"Yeah. What's it about?" The voice of the second woman who chose me came over the phone speaker. The first one being mom.

"I'm attending a wedding that day. Will you be my date?"

Silence engulfs the line. We've cleared up our relationship, then why's she surprised? We decided to give it a try and go out. I like her. I have for some time now. Then why's she silent?

"Yes." Came a voice like a whisper from the line.

And I smile. Gege saw this smile right? That's why he immediately assumed I was talking to someone I like.

That was true. I was. I just didn't know.

I got out of my room to go out and meet some of my friends. Jiyang and Haoxuan ge married a few months back and adopted a puppy. And I'm so happy for them. I don't know if he'll be able to come and meet us today tho. Yesterday was a Saturday and Haoxuan ge didn't have work. They probably did it like beasts.

Anyway, it's a new day and as the saying goes, life goes on. I'm trying to follow that.

After coming back home I found mom working on her laptop. She's started a new novel that she's working on. I know this because she asked me some information about life of college students in current times. She's sitting on the sofa in the living room with her laptop on the coffee table. I go and sit by her side and place my head slowly on her shoulder.

I felt a hand pat my head.

"Was it a hard day?" She's the most awesome mother just like always.

"I miss gege."

Her hands stopped. After gege left our family became more expressive. Dad started spending time with us more. He would take us out sometimes. Not only on mom's birthday. He even helps me in gardening when he has time. I don't know how gege would have reacted knowing dad has planted more yellow daffodils in our garden.

"We all do, A-Chang. We all do." She lets go of the laptop and turns to me. "It's all gonna be alright in the end."

I look at her face and see the strong woman she's always been. I feel the strength seeping through her hug to me. We'll all be alright? Is this how it works? She knows. She's a mother.

"How's Ayi?"

"She's been better. I mean it's not a surprise, is it?"

"Ma! She'll be alright. She's strong. That's what you always say." I wanted to comfort her. But I don't know how. So I just try to say things that are hopeful.

"Being strong doesn't mean you'll always have to be. It's okay for strong people to feel weak sometimes too." It was dad. We didn't realize when he came back. But he was there. Standing with his bag and car key.

He's turned older in this one year. Even more than he really is. We all know how he actually cherished Zhan ge. Zhan ge leaving broke our family even more. Even though we're together and we're trying harder to cherish the people we love, but we're emotionally broke. We're lost and we're trying to find our way back.

It's like it's back to how it all started. But not quite.

When I was going back to my room after dinner I found dad and mom talking in the living room.

Mom asking him, "How's the condition?"

"Still broken. I think it's beyond repair. I can't forgive myself."

It's ok. It'll be alright. It'll all work out in the end.

But when is the end?

That's the question!

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Heyyyyy guys! Here's another chapter... Did you feel the bomb?? I hope you did!

Today's A/N is short because I'm supposed to go to sleep but I'm here writing!

Also next chapter is the last chapter! So stay tuned till the end!

All the love
C 💕

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