Silent Noise (Anxiety Series #1) (COMPLETED)

Chapter 7

I covered my left index finger using my handkerchief. I sat on the bench in front of the court where my brother and his friends usually play. The air was crisp and cool as I gazed at the gold like streetlights at the side of the pillar near the bench where I'm sitting. I stared at the blood stain when I removed the yellow handkerchief on my finger that's wounded because of the broken plate I picked lately before I decided to go here.

My body started to shiver, I covered my mouth using my right hand. It's okay even though I cry now, because it's only the darkness who'll notice me, no one can hear me sob because the road is filled with the buzz of the car and the high voice of a vendor trying to attract some customers just to go home with money in their hand.

Time passed slowly like how my tears rolled down into my cheeks. I silently wish to vanish in this world I have even just for a while and in the middle of my loneliness with my hand continuously shedding the droplets of my silent noise...

"Is it too heavy for you to carry? Come on, share it and let me help you." I turn my eyes at him the same time he hands me his scented handkerchief.

I immediately taken it and wipe my tears. Tumikhim ako at iniwas ang aking paningin sa kaniya. Ilang sandali lamang ay naramdaman ko ang kaniyang pag-upo sa aking gilid.

"What's the view you don't want in this starry night, that made you cried?" Sandali kong kinagat ang aking pang-ibaba na labi, narinig ko ang mahina niyang pagtawa.

"Is it because of what happened yesterday? Noong makita mo si Kuya Lionel at Eliz?"

"H-Hindi ah,"

"Hindi naman ako umiiyak." Tumawa siya ng dahil sa aking sinabi, marahil dahil sinubukan ko pa pagtakpan ang katotohanan na kaniya naman ng naabutan at nakita.

"What are you again?" Malikot ang aking mga mata ng nilingon ko siya.

"Ano?"

"Liar," bulong niya at makailang ulit na napa-iling ng kaniyang ulo.

"I'm with my mother. Sumama ako sa kaniya dahil may kakausapin daw siya malapit dito sa inyo. I was about to pass by on your house when you brother texted me not to go. What's really the matter, Jishanne?" Napatitig ako sa kaniyang mga mata, sa unang pagkakataon ay naramdaman ko na mayroong handang makinig sa akin, ito ang naging dahilan upang manggilid muli ang luha sa aking mga mata.

"Hey, hindi kita pinapaiyak. I'm just asking here." Bahagya akong natawa at sinamaan siya ng tingin.

"Don't want to spill it?" tanong niya pa, napabuntong-hininga ako ng malalim. I havea lot to say but it just that, the words that I want to speak out are broken.

"Our mind's also have a limitation. Madalas kapag nagre-review tayo hindi na pumapasok sa isipan natin kasi nga puno na, hindi na magkasya o kaya dahil siguro pagod na, kaya nga nagpapahinga tayo sandali."

"Pero para sa akin hindi lang naman sapat ang pahinga, kaya ang ginagawa ko, binabawasan ko. Hindi na ako nagre-review, aasa na lang ako sa kakayahan ng stock knowledge." Gusto ko man pigilan ay kumawala na ang isang tawa sa aking bibig ng dahil sa kaniyang sinabi.

"You can count on me. Hindi kita huhusgahan." And even only on that night, I put myself away from the railways of the train that has a killer thoughts passenger.

"Thank you." Nag-angat siya ng kaniyang kilay sa akin habang naka-ngisi.

"Wala iyon, ayoko lang naman na matakot iyong mga dadaan dito. Ang haba ng buhok mo, tapos naka-puti ka pa. Ang pangit mo din umiyak." Akmang hahampasin ko na siya ng maalala ko na may sugat nga pala ang isa ko na daliri, bago ko pa ito maibaba ay hinawakan niya ang aking kaliwang kamay.