Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 12

Twelve.

To find a peaceful place, look at yourself. You are your own peace. If you keep on thinking about something that could make your heart clenches in pain, then you wouldn't find the peace that you want ever since. Tayo lang ang nanakit sa sarili natin. Tayo lang ang umaasa sa mga bagay na 'yon kaya sa huli, tayo ang nagdurusa.

Naiintindihan ko naman na mahirap patahimikin ang isip kaya nga deserve natin ng taong hindi tayo bibigyan ng pangamba at pag-aalala. That's one of the worst feelings that I've felt— begging God to silence my mind and heal me.

I took a deep sigh. Pinapanood ko ang bawat pagpatak ng ulan sa aking palad. Patuloy pa rin sa pagbuhos ang malakas na ulan simula kanina. Hindi ako makaalis sa waiting shed dahil nauna si Margarette sa akin umuwi. I wasn't ready. Tirik na tirik ang araw kanina kaya wala sa isip ko na uulan nang gan'to kalakas. Hindi tuloy ako nakapagdala ng payong.

I waited for almost an hour there. Tumila kahit papaano ang ulan. Nagsimula akong maglakad nang hindi inaalintana ang kahit na ano kahiy na nababasa na ako. I just keep on walking without minding my surrounding. Uwing-uwi na talaga ako. Sumasama ang pakiramdam ko kapag masama rin ang panahon.

It sucks... when you're not living your life. It sucks when you're feeling emptiness inside your heart. It really sucks being sad for no reason. Hindi mo alam kung ano pa ba ang purpose ng buhay mo. Why am I still alive if I'm not happy anymore?

"Hay, sino'ng nagsabi sa 'yong p'wede kang magpaulan?"

I was startled when I heard Zavion's voice. Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib dahil sa gulat at mabilis ko siyang hinarap. He's holding an umbrella and standing beside me so he could share his umbrella with me. My lips pursed and I immediately looked away.

"Kailan ka pa napunta rito?"

Ilang araw na rin ang lumipas simula no'ng huli ko siyang makita. The last time was when I went to Margarette's house and I saw him walking at the outside of their house. Margarette told me that he's very busy nowadays. Ate Elaine is also busy that's why I'm wondering why did he show up if he could just rest and spend this day with himself.

"You have a weak resistance, Elvira. Don't risk your health," he sighed.

"P'wede namang uminom ng maraming tubig at maligo," I said quietly.

He only shook his head and didn't answer me after that. Kung para sa aming dalawa, mas'yadong maliit ang kan'yang payong kaya kinailangan ko pang idikit nang mas'yado ang aking sarili sa kan'ya. I tried to look at him to look at his reaction but it looks like he doesn't give a damn about it. Diretso lamang ang kan'yang tingin sa daan at blanko lamang ang kan'yang ekspresyon.

"Here," he handed me his umbrella.

"Huh?"

"Use this umbrella," he uttered. "I have jacket."

And after telling me that, he wore his jacket, gave me his umbrella, and he kept his distance away from me. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa payong nang lumayo siya sa akin at wala man lang siyang imik sa ginawa niyang 'yon.

"What's with the sudden—"

"I know that you're still not comfortable kapag may katabi kang lalaki," his eyes drifted on me. "Now, do you want to eat something? It's raining. Kumakain ka ba ng lugaw? Kain tayo, gusto mo?"

It was so awkward when someone's looking at you without even blinking while waiting for you to answer him, so instead of talking, I just nodded my head immediately to get rid of his stares.

"Malapit na ang finals namin... that's why I'm busy," he informed me. "But I want to see you, that's why I'm here."

I was caught-off guard by his last sentence. Nagkunwari akong hindi na lamang pinansin 'yon at mas pinagtuonan 'yong una niyang sinabi.