Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 44

Forty-four.

I don't really know what I like about men. I don't have an ideal type. If you are consistent and respectful, I might fall for you... but yeah, Zavion has truly raised the bar way too high. He proves that a soft, gentle, and a calm type of man is so attractive. They are not boring. They make you feel secured and assured. They are deep and being with them eases your inner worries. Their aura screams comfort and peace. They are truly the standard.

I learnt from my past relationship that love isn't about giving everything that you have if that person is abusing you and taking advantage of your love. You can give that everything to someone who's worthy of you, not to someone who made you feel less. Love won't make you question your own worth. It is supposed to give you assurance and confidence, kaya kung ipinaramdam niya sa 'yo na mawawala mo siya kapag hindi mo naibigay ang kan'yang gusto, believe me, that's not love— that's manipulating! He isn't the right one for you. He doesn't deserve you. You deserve better. You deserve someone who won't make you cry at night.

One day, someone would make you feel like you're luckiest person alive. You wouldn't be insecure about yourself because he loves you more than you love yourself. Someone would still look at you like you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world after seeing your imperfections. One day... someone will see your true worth.

"Living your life isn't easy," I said, whispering.

Zavion snaked his arm around my waist. "But at least, I have you."

I nibbled my lower lip. Zavion is extra sweet for the past few days. Simula nang ikasal kami, halos hindi na siya mahiwalay sa akin. Hindi na rin kami sa mansion nina Lola nakatira. We're living under Zavion's mansion. Yes, he has his own house. For how many years of being a surgeon, he was able to save his own money and buy everything that he wants to have.

"I don't know if I'm insane. Kahit na wala akong kasiguraduhan noon, kahit na alam kong may pamilya ka na noon, hindi ko alam kung ano ang nagtulak sa aking mag-ipon at bumili ng bahay. Maybe because I can still see you in my future. Nakikita ko pa rin na kasama kita..." He firmly said.

Direkta ang titig ko sa kan'ya. He was convincing me to live with him after our wedding. Napanguso ako at umiwas ng tingin. I never thought he's been planning all of these for the whole eight years now!

So he was really sure of me since then, huh...

Ever since we got engaged, Zavion became more aggressive and clingy. Kahit na kakapasok lang niya sa kan'yang trabaho, tatawag siya agad sa akin upang kumustahin ako... o para lang marinig ang aking boses.

"Tangina, pakasalan mo na ako, Elvira." He muttered a curse under his breath. "Mamamatay ako kapag 'di pa kita naging asawa."

I chuckled. Inirapan ko siya. "Ang OA mo."

"Gustong-gusto na kitang ibahay, e."

I could smell the tantalizing aroma of his perfume. Mariin akong napapikit dahil libo-libong mga ala-ala ang nanumbalik sa aking isipan. It's true that a smell of perfume can bring back memories.

True to his words, Zavion planned the wedding immediately. Hindi ako umangal... dahil gusto ko rin naman. Gustong-gusto niyang magpakasal na kaming dalawa... and I think it's also the right time for us. Wala na kaming hinihintay pa. Wala ng balakid. We're both having a peaceful life.