Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 2

Two.

Once you master detachment and self-control, no one can break you, not even those toxic people who gave you traumas and damage. That's the most important; realizing your worth and value afterward to have the courage to let go of someone that no longer respects you.

Mahalaga ang sarili mo. Hindi mo dapat hinahayaang abusuhin lang ng ibang tao 'yon.

"Since we are in our last year, why did you take this course aside from you want to be a nurse?" Margarette asked a random question at a random time.

Pinaglalaruan ko ang aking labi nang tingnan ko siya, one of my mannerisms when I'm thinking. I thought about her question. Why did I take this course? What's my reason for studying this? Do I really want to be a nurse that's why I took this?

"Because Mama wants me to study this?" I answered, unsure of my answer.

At first, I was so unsure of my future, the reason why Mama forced me to take BS in Nursing. I don't like it before, I hate this before, dahil ginagawa ko 'yong bagay na wala akong interes noon at hindi ko alam kung may future ba ako sa larangang ito ngunit kinalaunan, I found out that I belong here, that this is the place where I could find my peace. I found myself here, and I learned to love what I'm doing.

Maybe because I realized that it's for myself, for Him, and for others? Serving others is a good thing. Maybe this is my purpose; to take care of others, to help them heal, and to remind them about their health.

"But that's not the issue anymore. Kita mo naman na gusto ko ang ginagawa ko," I added.

"Ako, kaya ko lang naman gusto maging nurse kasi gusto ko makapag-asawa ng doctor." Margarette smirked.

"Gago," I laughed.

For others, napakahirap alamin kung ano ang gusto nila sa kanilang buhay. There are also some that are really sure about their future kaso ang nakakatakot, maaabot mo kaya ito? Paano kung sa nasa kalagitnaan ka na ng pag-abot mo ng iyong pangarap, bigla mong mapagtanto na hindi talaga iyon ang gusto mo?

Mula noon hanggang ngayon, takot na takot ako sa hinaharap. I'm always thinking about my future but it will always end up worrying about it. Ayaw kong magsayang ng panahon. I also don't want to waste all of my efforts that's why thinking about my future worries me a lot. Kaya kapag sumasagi iyon sa isip ko, agad kong papalitan 'yong iniisip ko. I don't want to stress myself over my future.

Pero isa lang ang sigurado ako, na gusto ko maging isang ganap na nurse para sa bayan.

"Since I've mentioned the asawa thing, do you think the relationship is a distraction sa college life?" she asked, her black orbs were serious as she stared at me.

"Relationship is a big distraction if it is a toxic relationship."

And that's a realization.

I've never been this happy in my entire life until napakawalan ko ang sarili ko sa lahat ng ginawa ni Ambrielle sa akin. I feel so free and unbothered now that I don't have a boyfriend. Naaapektuhan pa rin naman ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito. I've been so loyal. Kaya mahirap sa akin na pakawalan siya noon dahil siya lang ang gusto ko. I've been a good girlfriend.

Noon kasi, naghihintay ako lagi sa wala. Wala pang assurance at gabi-gabi, hindi ka makatulog kakaisip kung deserve mo bang maranasan lahat ng masasakit na trato niya sa 'yo.