Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 30

Thirty.

Desperation could make you do something that you might regret later.

But this one... even after a few years, I know that I won't regret this. Alam kong habang buhay kong dadalhin ang ala-alang 'to.

Kazuo brought me safely to Zavion's condo.  Before leaving me, he made sure first if I feel comfortable and safe. Sinigurado rin niyang wala si Ambrielle sa paligid, lalo na nang malaman niyang roommate pala silang dalawa ni Zavion. Fortunately, Zavion didn't ask too many questions about us. Sinabi ko na lang sa kan'ya na galing ako kina Margarette at pinahatid niya ako kay Kazuo. Naniwala rin naman kaagad siya.

I tried my best to act normal. Kazuo made me wear his extra clothes. I was able to act as if nothing had happened in front of Zavion. Kahit ang panginginig ng aking mga kamay at pangangatog ng aking mga tuhod ay naitago ko.

I thought everything was fine with Zavion when Kazuo left. He closed the door and quickly addressed me. His pale eyes stared at me as if he were examining me. I quickly looked away. My lips trembled, trying to hold back my tears.

Nang kami na lamang ang tao sa loob ng silid, parang gusto ko siyang yakapin. Gusto kong ikulong ang aking sarili sa kan'yang mga bisig. Gustong-gusto kong umiyak. Gusto kong sabihin sa kan'ya ang nangyari. Gustong-gusto kong magsumbong!

Kaso ang pagod sa kan'yang mga mata ang pumipigil sa akin na sabihin 'yon. Ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa ang iniisip niya... at paano kung... paano kung dahil sa pagod niya, kapag nalaman niya ang nangyari sa akin, pandirian niya ako? Paano kung kamuhian niya ako? Paano kung makaramdam siya ng disgusto sa akin? Paano kung madismaya siya sa akin dahil nagalaw ako ng ibang lalaki habang may relasyon kaming dalawa?

Kahit sino naman ay pandidirian ako kapag nalaman nila ang nangyari sa akin.

"It's two in the morning, Elvira," he started talking, his eyes narrowed. "At hindi ka pa pala nakakauwi sa inyo?"

"I... I..." My voice trembled. "I mean, hindi ko namalayan ang oras. Pinahatid naman niya ako kay Kazuo kaya rito na lang ako dumiretso."

I was even surprised at myself because I was able to act and speak normally even though I am shaking in fear.

"Halika na..." His soothing voice calmed my soul. He pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. "Let's sleep. Alam kong pagod ka rin. Katatapos ko lang mag-review. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to reply on time to your messages."

Mabilis kong pinahid ang luha na tumulo mula sa aking mga mata. Agad kong inilayo ang aking sarili sa kan'ya. Kahit na nanginginig ang mga kamay, marahan kong hinawakan ang kan'yang mukha at iniharap sa akin.

Staring at the amber-colored eyes of Seferino Zavion Arevallo, I knew I was drowned, that I could no longer get up from his deep love. I knew that he's a good man— a man that will never force me, will never question my decisions, and a man with principle.

"Let's make love..." I said with full of determination. "Make love w-with me, Zavion," bumaba ang aking tingin nang dumilim ang kan'yang mga mata.

He reached for my arm and held my chin to lift it up. "Are you drunk, Elvira?"

"Amoy alak ba ako?" I fired back. "I'm serious. Madaling-araw ngayon. Maganda mag-ano... maggano'n..." I looked away.

"Gutom lang 'yan," he chuckled. "Do you want me to cook for you? What do you want to eat?"

"I-ikaw..." I coughed. Nagdikit ang aking kilay sa inip kaya ako na mismo ang sumunggab sa kan'ya kahit na may bahid ng pagtataka ang kan'yang mga mata. "Please, Zavi. Do it with me. I love you... I love you so much," I pleaded.