Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 1

One.

Let's stop this mindset, that if you give something, you will receive something in return. Nagkusa kang magbigay. Yes, you gave him something precious and you want him to appreciate it but in the end, he didn't ask you to give it to him kaya wala kang dapat isumbat. Nagbigay ka lang ba para may matanggap?

Never expect something in return. Expectations will hurt you. Situations will hurt you and thoughts of him will hurt you. Let's keep in our mind that it's much better kung tayo ang nagbibigay kaysa ang tumatanggap.

People always expect something in return that's why in the end, they're getting hurt. Minsan talaga, 'di na 'yong ibang tao 'yong nananakit sa atin, e, tayo na mismo at 'yong mga expectations natin.

"Parang 'di ka na nagkukuwento ngayon tungkol sa pag-aaway ninyo ni Ambrielle, ah!"

"Ano pa'ng maikukuwento ko kung 'di na kami nag-aaway?" I looked at her, my eyebrows wiggled.

"That's impossible..." Margarette whispered.

"It isn't... when you believe in someone. There's always a room for improvement and people, you know, people change," my lips curved into a thin line.

"Nabubulag ka sa gan'yan! Chance, chance my ass! God! Kung gusto talaga no'n magbago, noon pa lang nagbago na siya para 'di maging gan'to ang relasyon niyo!"

"Ayon na nga, 'di ba? Maybe this is the time to change himself? To prove himself? We don't know, Margarette, and please, ayaw kong makipag-away sa 'yo."

I heard her sighed. Alam kong may gusto pa siyang irugtong ngunit 'di na lamang niya ginawa. It took minutes before she opens her mouth again to speak. 'Di na ata nakapigil dahil gano'n siya. Kapag may gusto siyang iparating, hindi siya titigil hangga't 'di niya nalalabas 'yong gusto niyang ipunto.

That's the reason why we really fit to each other, why we're friends despite of the differences. We're friends since senior high and since we took the same course. We became closer and I don't regret having her as my friend dahil kung hindi dahil sa kan'ya, 'di ko alam kung sino ang makakaintindi sa akin.

That's why having friends are really important. Sa kanila mo masasabi 'yong mga bagay na 'di mo kayang sabihin sa magulang mo.

"But that won't change everything. Hindi ko pa rin siya gusto para sa 'yo."

"Okay, I respect your opinion but Margarette, you are not the girlfriend," I scoffed.

"And? So, what? I'm a concerned friend!"

"If we are going to fight over that boy, please, it's not really worth it..." I said and shut my eyes firmly. I feel tired. Mas'yado na akong pagod sa lahat. Can I take a break for at least two hours?

"Oo nga. 'Yang mga kagaya ni Ambrielle, halatang pang-experience lang, e. 'Yong alam mo 'yon– pang-temporary lang. Ayaw ko lang talaga sa kan'ya dahil hindi mo deserve na itrato nang gan'yan kaso kung ako sa 'yo, matagal ko nang tinapos 'yong pagdurusa ko sa piling ng lalaking 'yon..." she stated her opinion.

"It was really hard to let go someone that you've loved dearly. Mararamdaman mo rin 'to. 'Yong parang mas pipiliin mo na lang na patawarin sila kaysa mawala sila sa 'yo." I said in my calm voice. "At nasa sa atin naman na 'yon, kung gagawin nating permanent o temporary sa buhay natin 'yong isang tao. In my case, mahal ko siya kaya gusto ko hanggang dulo na."

She shrugged her shoulders, bakas ang pagkadismaya sa kan'yang galaw. "Kaso ikaw naman 'yong magiging kawawa sa dulo," she sighed again and tapped my back.

Ewan, putangina.

Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ba sa ginagawa ko ang tama. Sa bawat galaw ko, kahit mag-ingat ako at pag-isipan nang mabuti ang bawat kilos ko, lagi na lang nagiging mali. Lagi na lang nahahantong sa sobrang gulong sitwasyon. I'm always stuck on this kind of shit. Tangina, nakaka-suffocate.