Garden of Wounds (Panacea Series #1)

Chapter 34

Thirty-four.

Sometimes, it's so hard to express what you feel. There are no exact words to describe your thoughts. Ang hirap ilabas at ang hirap bigkasin dahil walang kahit na anong salita ang puwedeng magpagaan ng iyong nararamdaman. Minsan, hindi lang mga salita ang kailangan natin sa buhay. We need hugs and presence of someone, too— someone that would tell us that we're not alone in this battle.

Humalumbaba ako sa aking kinauupuan habang pinaglalaruan ang baso sa aking harap. I could see the reflection of Kazuo through the glass. Nakahalukipkip ito at tahimik lamang na pinapanood ang aking ginagawa.

"What's the problem?" He started talking.

I sighed and drank the wine that he poured for me. Mariin kong napikit ang aking mga mata nang maramdaman ko ang mainit na likido sa aking lalamunan. I open my eyes and look directly into his eyes. Napayuko ako nang maramdaman ko ang umaambang mga luha sa gilid ng aking mga mata.

"I saw him..." I answered quietly.

"Him? Who? May lalaki ka na? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?" His eyes widened. "Sabi mo wala kang gagawing ama ng mga bata!"

"Tangina..." I utter a curse and gritted my teeth. "Seryoso ako rito, Kazuo! H'wag mong sinisira ang araw ko!"

"I'm serious, too. Who the fuck is that man, Elvira?"

"Si Zavion, bobo. Si Zavion ang nakita ko."

"Awts, sakit," he said, pouting his lips.

I mimic his voice and made a face. Inirapan lamang ako nito at pinandilatan ng mata.

"Yuck, isip-bata pa rin kahit dalawa na 'yong anak niya," he teased me.

"Stop with that, Kazuo. Wala akong oras sa nga gan'yan mo," pagalit kong sinabi.

"Oo na, oo na!" He straightened up his back and folded his arms on his chest. He became serious in just a minute. Malumanay ang mga mata nitong nakatitig sa akin. "What is it, Elvira?"

I tilted my head on the side. Alam ko naman na ganito ang maaaring mangyayari kung sakaling magkatagpo kami ni Zavion. He's the only man who could make me weak. He's the only man who accepted my flaws, mistakes, and sins, so how can I move-on when I'm still in love with him?

"It was two in the morning, Elaine and I are having a conversation until a man entered the clinic. May dala-dala siyang lalaki. Hindi ko makita nang maayos 'yong mukha ng lalaki noong una dahil nakatalikod ito hanggang sa tuluyan ko nang nilapitan upang kilatisin..." I told him. "And do you know what I've just found out? It's Zavion! He's the fucking patient!"

"Nagkita na kayo ni Zavion?! Ano sinabi? Tinanong ba kung may asawa ka na? Gago, sabihin mo wala pa dahil hinihintay mo pa rin siya!"

"Kazuo!"

"Ito na nga po, e," he rolled his eyes and murmured something.

Matalim ko siyang tinitigan. For how many years of living with Kazuo, kung hindi niya pagagaanin ang aking loob, siya naman ang dahilan kung bakit sumasakit ang aking ulo. At first, I didn't know that Kazuo has this kind of side. He's the role model of my sons. They look him up and always want to be with their Tito. Lahat kasi ng kanilang gusto ay natutugunan ni Kazuo.

"Umuwi ako agad. Si Elaine ang pinaasikaso ko," I said seriously. "That was unexpected! Sa clinic ko pa talaga siya nakita!"

"Ginusto mo naman..." He commented.

"S'yempre..." I smirked.

Napailing na lamang ito at tinungga ang wine na sinalin ko para sa kan'ya. I want to drink to forget these emotions of mine. I never thought that I would see him again. Oo, noon, lagi akong humihiling na sana ay magkatagpo muli ang landas naming dalawa ngunit hindi ko naman inaasahan na ngayon 'yon mangyayari.