STILL WITH YOU (JIKOOK)

37.

Blinded by rage and unexplainable emotions that bubbled up within him in a blink of an eye, he stormed off to jimin's room. He didn't know himself why he did so and on top that he slammed the door on jin's face with no care. The same jin that he claimed to have feelings for....the same jin that he loved or still loves or he thinks that he loves.....his brain had never been in such befuddled state that he was experiencing in the present scenario.

He was always so clear about he felt. He  has always been a hot tempered peson but he definitely wasn't among the one who goes impulsive and mad in a moment.

Jimin had been roaming a lot in his mind for a while. And the unnecessary hatred he had for jimin in the past was long gone. He kinda admits that he was childish and immature for that.

Being an unsociable person he was, he had his mom, and few countable friends in the name of his close and loved ones and he was doing well with what he had. And for the rest of the world, he was seen as a snobbish, arrogant brat who was proud of his mama's money and he knew that too. But he didn't care.

Self prioritisation was what he had devoted himself to. Wealthy family background, closet full of expensive clothes and shoes, lavish lifestyle....jungkook never had a reason to be anxious or stressed or impulsive since he had it all....But even the single mention of jimin could make him go crazy and he was experiencing that certain thing on his own too.

When jin mentioned jimin, accusing him for the state jimin was in....he went numb acknowledging the fact that he was wrong and as jin kept shouting at him, he yelled back and his feet took him to jimin's room where he found him lost in his own world.

Jin was banging the door constantly while calling jungkook to come outside but jungkook had his entire focus on jimin who raised himself up with the ruckus that occured out of sudden.

Jimin was intimated by the stare jungkook was throwing at him so he simply did what he felt was easy to do. He avoided the stare...... Jimin first gave a look to jungkook and kept his eyes where it was before completely ignoring jungkook's presence while settling himself in his previous position.

Jungkook neared towards him and examined his feet which was now wrapped up by some torn cloth which threads were sticking out at the edges. It seemed as if jimin didn't put much effort into bandaging up his wound as the patch of blood was visible from the cloth.

Observing jimin's state he felt more than just sympathy towards him. All his unexplainable anger faded away in less than a second. And matter of fact he wasn't even furious at jimin some minutes ago. He was just vexed at his addled self which was currently unable to comprehend what his heart was experiencing.

Jin's voice died down from the other side very soon. Jungkook kneeled himself down and slightly touched his bandaged foot making jimin wince.

'Let me wrap your feet in a new bandage. I doubt if you have disinfected it at first or not.' He spoke in his monotoned voice, tearing up from within.

'No need!' Jimin stated, still not looking at jungkook.

'Don't be stubborn. Let me do it real quick.' He said while standing in his feet to which jimin let out a scoff.

'You do not need to pretend to care about me. Simply go to your room and sleep. Let me be on my own.' Jimin retorted back, his gaze still on the floor.

'Look at me and speak!. I want you to look at me.' Hiding the desperation in his voice, he recomposed his strict aura in the hope that maybe jimin will atleast look at him considering the tone of his voice.

'Am I supposed to feel afraid, jungkook? Am I supposed to jump out in fear and obey you like a dog?' Jungkook was absolutely taken back hearing jimin's remark.

'Where is this conversation even going, jimin? I am simply telling you to look at me. And That's it...' Jimin huffed out and finally stared at jungkook.

'And I am telling you to let me be on my own. I don't need your pity, your sympathy. I also don't want you to fall for me. I simply just want you to leave me alone with my thoughts. Do you still have any problem with that?'

'I- I..' Jungkook stuttered.....

'You are so self obsessed and arrogant, jungkook. You do not give a damn about others. You want everything to be in your way. I didn't marry you willingly too but you always blamed me for not being able to be with the one that you loved. But in real you are a coward. It didn't matter whether you loved jin or not, jin was already in a relationship which meant you had no chance at all. Your mom abused me, didn't let me eat and you didn't say a thing. All you did was watch me shedding tears while eating what I had cooked for you. You are a horrible person, jungkook! And I hate you for being such an insensitive jerk who cares only about himself.' Jimin cried out and jungkook had no courage to go and wipe off his tears.

'And after doing all that shit to me, you said you were guilty. You said you were sorry but it was just limited to words only I guess. Just because jin wasn't here..inside the house you blamed me. You always make me feel how worthless and useless I am. Everyday I am doing my best but you always to seem to find a fault in that and it hurts me a lot. I have always woken up with only one wish in my head that was atleast today you won't be mad at me but that day never came. And I hate you for that too.'

'I am indeed guilty and sorry, jimin. Just stop crying for once and all. I would leave you alone if that's what you want.' Jungkook's voice was laced with mild anxiety as he was watching jimin having a breakdown and he feared if jimin would again hurt himself like before.

'You say you are sorry but you don't mean it at all. If treating me as nothing but responsibility is your way of apologising then you don't have to do it. I can't force someone to do something they don't mean. As a human, I just wanted you to be nice with me since I had no one beside me to even talk to me in a straight manner but I hope you know that you are the worst. Atleast they fed me for the work I did in orphange but here in your gigantic mansion of a house, my hands and pupil used to shake while munching on the dry toast. I can't look myself in the mirror as I dread to see how I really have become beneath this piece of clothing you provided me with. And now I have no patience or hope left in me. You won't change and that's for sure and if you are again about to say sorry, just leave it.' And then nobody spoke a word after that.

From jimin answering in only either yes or no when he was asked  something.....to him penting out his grievance and disgruntlement, it took a brief minute for jimin to realise what he just said.

And after letting out what he felt in actual, it became all so serene for him.

'I am ready to give ourself a chance, jimin!' Jungkook spoke instantly after jimin breathed out a sigh.

'I will try to cherish you and move on with you. I just need a chance.' Jungkook further added and it was not his guilt that was speaking up. It was his own self  and he wasn't regretting a single thing he said just now. He seriously wanted a chance to repent his actions and moreover he knew long before that jin wasn't going to be his.

He seriously needed to give up at his one sided feelings and for that he was convicted to move on and what could be more better than moving on with the person who has feelings for him.

'I will treat you like how you deserve to be treated in real. Let's start with knowing each other initially and-'

'NO!' Jimin said not letting jungkook complete whatever nonsense he was speaking.

'I can't. And I won't. I am leaving your house tomorrow and that's it. I really don't have anywhere to go but it's actually better for me to live out in streets than living with you under your oppression.' Jimin declared, successfully hiding his grief under his mask of impassive expression.

A/n: My ugly single ass writing about love and relationship...I can't-😂🤡

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