Dandelions' Tears

21

"Kinakabahan ako Aera." bulong ko sa kaibigan habang hinahatak ang laylayan ng jacket nito. Umirap ito sa 'kin, kahit na nakasuot ito ng wayfarer ay kita pa rin ang pag-ikot ng mata nito.

"Sus. Wala 'yan, hinga ka lang malalim." parang walang ganang sambit nito.

"Siraulo ka ba? I'm freakin' nervous tapos sasabihin mo sa 'kin hingang malalim? And then what? Kamay sa dibdib. Aera... magpapalamon nalang ako sa lupa." nakapikit na sambit ko rito. Andito kami ngayon sa taxi papuntang condo unit na inupahan ko.

"Girl, it's like a life or death situation okay? Kung uurong ka, it's like you gave up on her-"

"That won't happen." I cutted her.

"What if lang, ho."

"Stop being nega. Kinakabahan na nga ako eh." ani ko at hinampas ito.

Our drive went smoothly. Tumataas na rin ang araw kaya't medyo umiinit na sa balat. Ipinikit ko ang mata ko at napatingin ako ng tumunog ang cellphone ng katabi ko. I smiled playfully when I saw she's stalking Tuesday Sly Maynard. My friend who's also a model.

"Huli ka balbon." pang-gugulat ko rito dahilan ng biglaang pag patay nito sa cellphone niya.

"Nakita ko 'yon..." I teased and she blushed.

I laughed when I saw her reaction. She's just hiding her face from embarassment.

"Girl crush lang."

"Ah talaga? Girl crush?" biro ko pa rito.

"Girl crush nga," aniya.

"Kaya nga, girl crush nga." pag-uulit ko sa sinabi niya at napahagalpak naman ako sa tawa ng bigla ako nitong kurutin sa braso.

Nang makarating sa condo unit ay nag-ayos lang kami ng gamit, gabi gaganapin ang wedding nila which is I don't know why, ang weird lang para sa 'kin. Nag-ready lang ako ng black na halter dress, black converse, and black coat. Napatingin ako kay Aera ng dumiretso agad sa comfort room. Sumakit daw ang tiyan sa ice tea.

I made a coffee and went to a veranda. I sat and stare at sky. I admire how orange the sky is. It's so peaceful and calming. I suddenly remember before, Echo and I used to hangout inside an abandon building's. Sitting there peacefully, staring at the buildings, drinking beers... I love it. And I hope it'll happen again. I hope, someday... all those things will not just remaine a memory.

"Mahal mo talaga siya 'no?" napatingin ako kay Aera ng umupo ito sa tapat ko. Kakatapos lang ata nito na dumumi dahil naglalagay palang siya ng alcohol.

"Sino?"

"'Yung ibon ata." pamimilosopo pa nito.

"Si Echoella kasi. Ano ba,"

"I wouldn't be here if I don't. Akala ko dati, my feelings for her is just infatuation. That... i'm just heartbroken because of what happened to Yoshi." I stared at my coffee and for the first time, Aera listened without saying anything.

"But... turns, it's on another way around. My feelings for Yoshi is just infatuation. My heart got broken because of what happened to her and my guilt is eating me. I should've been there when she's crying because of pain. My feelings for Echo... shit. It's what you call love. Love... it can make you do things that you never imagined you'll be able to do. I've experienced stealing, running away just to be with her. And also begging, love made me do it." I shook my head and drank the coffee infront of me.

"Love comes into loving yourself first. You can't love if you're losing yourself. See what happened to you? Learn from that mistake." aniya at napatango-tango naman ako rito.