The Pseudocide of the Moon - Complete

Chris

I thought I'd Dodger out for a walk today. We've been cooped up for a few days and I feel like we're both going a little crazy. So I head to the park in Boston, the one near Liv's place. Or where I assume she lives. 

Dodger was clearly excited, pulling at my leash wanting to run free. His tail wagged nonstop and his tongue hanged out as he panted with joy.

The leaves aren't fully green anymore, and I couldn't wait for fall to come. It was the end of September and the breeze felt good against my skin.

Dodger and I walked around for nearly half an hour before I thought it'd be a good idea to head back.

That's until we pass by some benches.

"Oh Olivia," I hear someone say. There's a man in probably his mid 30's giving a younger girl pats on the back. He's sitting relatively close and I can hear her crying. Her dark brown hair covers her face, but I know who that is anywhere. 

"Hey Liv?"

She sniffles and wipes her face with her sleeve. She looks up at me and gives me a weak smile.

She sniffles again, "Oh hey Chris."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good," she laughs a bit, she looks sad. "How are you? Is this Dodger?"

"It is! We both felt like getting out of the house," I look at the guy sitting with her and back at her. She doesn't look the most comfortable, so decide it's best to just leave. It's clearly not a good moment. "So I guess I'll leave you two to it. I'll see you around Liv."

I give her a quick smile and little wave before walking away with Dodger.

Until this encounter it's been nearly two months since I last have seen her. 

I've gone to the park, I've gone past the hospital a few times in the off chance I see her walk in or out. I've gone to that CVS pharmacy so many times the older lady at the front already recognizes me.

I then went to Prague and back. We finished shooting the movie already and summer was already over. I honestly didn't expect for so much time to have passed. And although I've been keeping busy with work, Dodger and my family, it wasn't enough. If I thought about her a lot after those small encounters, after spending all that time with her on the plane she's been on my mind non-stop.

I've been wanting to see if I could get her contact info somewhere, but I felt that was too creepy. If it's meant to happen it will. And obviously she's with someone now... so it's probably not meant to happen.

Scott told me to grow up and keep trying.

But I didn't look for her again. If it's fates will for us to meet, we will. 

---

I knew I said I wasn't going to look for her and I haven't, but I still couldn't help but think of her. My heart hurt thinking about her crying in the park. It hurt to think she may be hurting and I couldn't be there for her. 

So once again I threw myself into work. I had a few interviews here and there. I worked on teaching Dodger a few tricks and I spent time with my family. I feel so grateful to have them, because if it weren't for them I would have gone crazy.

I've taken up some boxing classes too. Just for the heck of it. And they've really been helping with the stress and frustration. Scarlett suggested I take a spin class, but that felt weird. So I've also been running more. I've been trying new things to broaden my thoughts. It's been hard to say the least.

"Chris. Chris!!"

"Yeah? Sorry."

"I've been asking you what you want for the past 5 minutes. Hurry up I'm gonna order."

"Oh right, what are you ordering?"

"Thai. I'm ordering Thai food Chris."

"Ah okay, um can you get some chicken pad Thai? That sounds good."

"Is that it? Because I am not gonna share my drunken noodles with you."

"No, no that's fine. I'm good with the pad Thai."

"Alright if you say so.." he singsongs. He makes his way to the kitchen and orders our food. 

"Do you want a beer?" he yells from the kitchen.

"Bring me one. Or two," I yell back.

He comes back holding a case, "Might as well bring extra. Feels like you're gonna need it."

Sure enough a few hours later we had our food, I've had 6 beers at this point and Scott convinced me to join him for some karaoke. 

We were currently singing along to Everybody Wants to Rule the World. A classic of course. Once we finished with singing (squeaking) we took a break.

"So are you gonna finally tell me what's really going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Chris, don't give me that dumb face, we both know what I'm talking about," I gives me mom's look, like come on spit it out.

"I miss her."

"Man you've seen her like what three, four times?"

"I know, I know. But she just different. I get excited whenever I see her. And her eyes, good god they're beautiful. She was such a beautiful laugh too. I feel amazing when I'm around her. Like I don't have to impress her."

"Look man, I know I told you to keep trying, especially since you seem to be so infatuated with her, but live in the moment too. You can't let her take over your life. It's not like you've even spent that much time with her. I'm sure there's still a lot more to get to know."

"Yeah, I mean... When we were on the plane together we just connected so well. Like she finally let loose and talked to me. It felt good to listen to her. Like if you could hear her talk about her work, it's inspiring to see there's people out there that still have passion."

"Chris, you know I love you man, just take it easy. Get to know her a little better, don't get in over your head."

I laugh, "yeah, you're right, I know."

"Look at us," he laughs as well, "Usually you're the voice of reason not me."

"Hey you got my back, I got yours. That's what family does."

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Chris going through all sorts of emotions! We need to give this man a break.

Shorter chapter here but early post! I'll be out of town this weekend and I wanted to make sure y'all got your chapter!

Beijos