The Devils On My Shoulder | ChanHoMin

49

he washed himself before rinsing the soap off his body, then grabbing the shampoo as he got his hair wet under the water, he put some in his hands and lathered it up.

"don't use too much, make it last." minho snapped.

seungmin held his sarcastic comment and nodded, putting the bottle down again and starting to rub it into his hair, just like when he got his toothbrush, it felt very unnatural.

when he lived in his apartment he wouldn't think twice about something as simple as washing his hair, but now it didn't feel normal, as if it was the first time he had ever done it, he seemed very uncoordinated and very concious of what his hands were doing.

he started to wash it out, ignoring their quiet complaints that he was taking too long, handing out his own complaints in his head.

i didn't ask you to stand and stare at me, if you're so bored, go away and let me shower

he kept it in his head though as he completely washed it out, making sure it was all out of his hair before very reluctantly turning off the water.

"hurry and get out."

seungmin stepped out of the shower, trying to cover himself up as much as possible, he felt very small and vulnerable in front of them, but naked it was amplified, especially after what happened in minho's room a while ago.

minho scoffed at him and tossed him a towel, seungmin wrapped it around himself quickly and felt a little more comfortable now he was covered.

chan opened the door and motioned for him to leave the bathroom.

seungmin walked out of the door and towards his room, he hoped they would leave him alone and let him change in peace, but no.

they walked in and leaned against the door, staring at him expectantly.

seungmin felt very nervous in front of them but they didn't seem to have any intention on moving. he started to dry himself off, trying his best to keep himself covered. both chan and minho found it amusing, they had no interest in seungmin or his body, they just enjoyed the impact they had on him.

seungmin went to his shelf to use his new moisturiser before going to the pile of clothes, he put on the underwear and shorts, then the t-shirt then the socks to keep his feet warm.

minho came over and grabbed the towel, starting to dry seungmin's hair. he pouted a bit. he was rough and not careful with it at all, it was pulling on his hair but he just clenched his fists and tried not to react.

"th-that hurts." he mumbled after a while.

he was starting to be sure minho was trying to hurt him on purpose. he just heard a hum in reply as he kept going until he thought he minho done.

seungmin breathed out when he stopped and rubbed his head a bit.

his roots were hurting now but he didn't complain, he knew better than that. they looked like they were getting ready to leave so seungmin climbed into his bed, pulling the cover over him and pulling his bear closer.

they left after a while, locking up the door behind them.

seungmin sighed and looked up at the ceiling. he wasn't tired, it was too early to be tired but his body was tired since he had been moving around a lot, the journeys up and down the stairs made his legs ache.

he thought about putting on one of his movies, or reading, but he always did that, he wished there was something else to do.

he sat up and reached for the water, taking off the cap and sipping it. he looked at his bear, now that he had named it felix, it almost felt like felix was there for him to talk to, it was comforting, but it also hurt, he wanted felix so badly.

"i miss you so much felix, i hope you don't hate me, i can't expect you to pay for me, i forgive you for that, i just hope if i ever see you again you won't think i'm disgusting or bad, i can't help what i'm feeling, i know it's wrong but the feelings won't go away."

he stared at his bear as he spoke.

"i just... i want them to need me somehow, the same as i need them, i don't know why but i want them to need me, i don't want to feel these things, i don't want to like them, i wish i didn't want them to like me, but i can't help it... i tried to distance myself but it just made me want them more, i promise i'm not bad. i miss you, i miss you so much, it's okay if you don't want me anymore, i relied on you too much, i was too dependent and i understand how much of a burden i must've been. if i ever come back to you i'll try not to need you so much, i'll try really hard, i just need you to want me again..."

—

minho was sat on the couch, he put down his can of soda when he heard an engine stop outside, he got up out of pure curiosity and looked out of the window.

the color drained from his face and he turned pale, he turned around.

"chan!"

"huh?"

"cops, the cops are here, get seungmin downstairs now!"

chan almost dropped what he was holding as he ran for the stairs, he bolted up them and unlocked the door.

seungmin was sitting on his bed with his book.

"get the fuck up now!"

seungmin was shocked and scared, chan looked scared too, he stood up, holding his bear in his arms. so many things were going through chan's head as he focused on what he had to do, he grabbed seungmin's arm, pulling him towards the door.

"ow!"

"shut up, you need to be silent, shut up!"

seungmin flinched and covered his mouth, he had no idea what was happening. he was shaking a little from fear, clutching his bear.

chan started to pull him towards the stairs as there were several knocks at the door, chan pulled seungmin through the living room fast and to the hall, heading straight for the basement, he heard minho open the door as chan fumbled to get the locks open.

=♡=