The Devils On My Shoulder | ChanHoMin

67

seungmin woke up in the morning and got out of bed, he looked to his side and chan wasn't there, he was a little confused but he shrugged it off, that wasn't usual because they usually got him up to lay the table for them first thing in the morning.

he went to the bedroom door and pushed it open, looking shocked, his eyes widened. on the other side of the door was his apartment, exactly how he remembered it, his living room with his comfortable couch, his kitchen joined onto the living room over the other side, the hallway with the spare room and the bathroom down it. he smiled a little as he stepped out of chan's bedroom and closed the door, he was home.

he looked over and saw felix sitting on the couch.

"felix?"

felix looked up and got up, coming to him. he stopped in front of seungmin, keeping his blank face.

"you don't need me."

seungmin looked at him, confused.

"what do you mean? you're my best friend, i've always needed you."

"no, you belong to them now, you only need them, you give in to them, you crave them, you think about them, you beg for them, you need them, not me... you love them."

"i-"

"go seungmin. you don't need me and i don't need you."

seungmin woke up with a start. his breathing slightly faster as tears flooded his eyes, he gripped his bear as he looked around the dark room. he didn't have to see anything to know he was with chan, he covered his face as felix's words replayed in his head, he thought about what he had said and it felt painful.

he tried so hard to keep his cries quiet, but he couldn't help it, he covered his mouth, holding his bear close to his face as he heard chan stir next to him.

"seungmin? what're you doing?" chan's voice sounded lower and sleepy.

"b-bad dream." he mumbled, trying to calm down fast so he didn't get kicked out.

chan sat up and rubbed his eyes, sighing heavily.

"you can't just be quiet and sleep can you?"

it wasn't seungmin's fault, his sleep was usually too disturbed or shallow to dream, on the rare occasion he did dream he was always sensitive to it.

"sorry." he mumbled between muffled cries.

chan rolled his eyes and lay back down, pulling seungmin down too, he put on arm around seungmin, letting his head rest on his chest.

seungmin sniffed softly and tried hard to calm down, it was a little easier with chan holding him, even just a little bit. he tried to focus on how soft and warm his arms felt, and his scent was relaxing too, he felt immideiately at ease.

he closed his eyes slowly, wiping his tears away with the sleeve of the sweater he was wearing.

"do not get used to this."

seungmin nodded a little and made sure he didn't move too much, nuzzle him, or even breathe too loudly, he just focused on how warm chan's body was and let himself feel sleepy again.

what felix said in his dream was definitely playing on his mind, mainly because it was true, what he said was true, he didn't need felix the way he used to anymore. he needed chan, he needed minho, that realisation hurt him a lot but it was true, he knew it was true.

he felt himself get tired again and hugged his bear tightly, taking a slow breath.

goodbye felix.