Tips for trans guys

New + name

Hey!

So remember how I said I went to an appointment with a psy for transidentity?

Well, even thought I was clearly panicked, it went well in fact! She was very nice and very sweet wich kind of surprised me. She talked to me with male pronoums right away. It was a little akward to start, especially because I'm not used to talk so my voice just was horrible, and I'm also not used to talk about that.

When she asked me if I had a name idea, I said -despite being attached to the name Orion- that I wwanted to let my parents choose, and she made me the biggest smile (her mask was in plastic so I could see her mouth, its was weird), now I ask myself, is that because you are touched about that or was she thinking "wow, what a fucking dumbass" ?

Anyway, at the end of the appointment, she found in me quite other problems such as anorexia, anxiety (social and general), that she think could have been declenched by gender dysphoria. She said it was to early to do anything or to declare herself, but that she could clearly detect gender dysphoria that has been here for a pretty long time.

So it went great, I even had a shark for the occasion. 

But now, my parents are aware that I'm very careful with food, and they don't want me skipping meals anymore, so that suck.

They still call me by she/her pronoums. They still call me by my deadname and when they have to call my sister and I, they shout "Giiirls!". It hurt way much than if they did not know anything. Not much ago, I was apparently visibly in a bad mood, and they insisted for me to tell them. When I said it was because of my body, my father went like "then why don't you just go like tomboy style ?" . I wear the exact same clothes as my brother but my father told me on me it did not look the same and that he was surprised anyone could take me for a boy because in his eyes, I looked nothing like one.

Out of this, he also told me that he'll probably choose the name Seth for me. From like, egyptian mythology, you know, god of war chaos and storms. Quite a bad one. Thought it's pretty common in America I think? But in France it doesn't really exist. Also, it's weird because Seth is pronounced exaclty the same as sept, wich means seven in french. So basically, in my point of view, it would be like everyone calls me seven (7). It's pretty weird.

Well, that's it. My life.

So yeah, I've got another appointment with that psy in july. I hope this goes fast. 

Voilà voilà, this was so interesting. 

Bye bye.