Hey man how are you ?
I'm here to (try to)help you to survive as an transgender male in our society . How to choose a name, how to deal with dysphoria ... Yeah , we are gonna have fun !
At your service !
So, this chapter is for everyone which is not out, whatever the reason is. You could not start ready, or don't feel safe, or just don't want to... This is for everyone who don't feel fine and is still in the closet.
So
° Are we okay to say that being deadnamed suck?
Here is the solution! Adopt a nickname more masculine (or feminine, I don't know if some trans girls or non binary pals are here and try the tips in "the other way").
Like, if your deadname is Emma, try like, hum, Em' ?
You can, to constitue your nickname:
- try a shorten version of your deadname (ex: Emma --> Em')
-Pick the name of a masculine character in something you like. (ex: Fry? Only me liking futurama? Well)
-Choose a word that is neither masculine or feminine (like I did) (My family litteraly call me waffle, because, well, i do like it. It is better than my deadname)
°Affirm your style, how to obtain gender affirming clothings
I don't know if your parents are the kind to forbidd you to wear what you want based on your genitalia, wich is very stupid, but here is how to defeat them:
-"All the girls do that!" --> effect: Parents that try to force you to fit into the majority, they should actually be happy that their child is doing like everyone !
- For a short hair cut:
Say that you'd like to have the same haircut as a girl (with short hair). I know it may give dysphoria, and this is not the goal to make you feel bad, but, it may be the only way.
So, this is very stupid, but, try to put chewing gum on your hair, like, where you want it cut: No other solution than cutting it! Et voilà!
Don't brush it: Say then, when they tell you you should take care of it that it would be easier if they were short.
Alternative:
Stuck them in a beany: Yay, it looks short!
Have dreadlocks: This is maybe more masculine.
Let it be savage: Like a lot of skater guys with long hairs !
° How to feel better about yourself in this closet
Being stuck in the closet suck, but you shouldn't suffer that much. If you can't go out of this place, try to make it comfy.
- Know that you are not alone, that some others understand your pain, your incomfort.
-Don't be hard on yourself. (my god is it how we say it?) I mean, be cool with yourself. See yourself as your own friend. Don't treat yourself bad. Don't tell to yourself you are a coward, a freak or any nasty and wrongs things. THE FACTS say that you are so worth it, THE FACTS, even if I never saw you, tell that you are a very hansome man. THE FACTS don't lie.
-Do what makes you comfortable and know your limits. Don't come out if you don't want, if you don't feel safe,if you are not ready... But even if you are in the closet, you should not let people control you, if you don't want to put on the dress, you don't have to came out to say no. Don't let yourself get hurt/manipulated because you can't out yourself.
If people are being litteral dick, just do this smile
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Like, if they won't stop calling you a girl, or insist on that... You can't tell anything, just do that. Tested and approved. They usually get very scared.
