Blame it on me

Blame it on me chapter 18

Thanks for 4K reads already I'm glad you like this book

Katsuki was sitting at the dinner table, listening to the small conversations the others shared between sections of silence. His hands were shaky, but nobody sent insults in his way and he wasn't sent away. He was asked a few things, but he rarely added words to the discussions. He couldn't explain to himself what feelings were swirling around his head but one thing was for sure: he was sitting with them like families did, except they were sharing a meal without awkward silence or yelling. Katsuki couldn't recall when was the last time he got to eat with someone with no... accidents.

He thought those kinds of family meals only existed in movies to set unrealistic expectations, and nobody ever had them in actual life. Realizing he lived thirteen years of his worthless fucking life without ever taking part in a proper family meal just twisted his guts. It was obviously his fault. If he were what his parents wanted him to be, they might have had meals like so. Only if he could make them happy. But he never could. Katsuki knew he was dysfunctional by the fact seeing a happy family caused him sorrow. He really didn't belong there, and he hated himself for having a small part of him that wished he did.

He occasionally glanced up from his fish and met a pair of green eyes, the look in them was so welcoming and warm, Katsuki had to tear his gaze immediately because even though it wasn't the first time Hizashi looked at him like that, he still couldn't process how he was supposed to feel about it.

"Is it okay if I sleep at Denki's tonight? We wanted to watch a movie and his mom invited me for dinner." Hitoshi asked. Katsuki listened to the conversation carefully, trying to find any false tones in their voices while he ate.

"Oh, a movie date?" Asked Hizashi.

"It's not a date!" Hitoshi protested. Katsuki didn't need to look up to know he was blushing, and his parents saw it because they both started laughing.

"Of course, Honey." Said Hizashi.

"Can I go now?" Asked Hitoshi, and apparently he was done with his lunch.

Shouta gave him permission, and the idiot jumped up from his seat, giving the kitty in Katsuki's hood a pat as he took his dishes to the kitchen, then headed up the stairs.

Katsuki glanced into his direction and he felt the sudden urge to run after him. He didn't really want to be alone with Hizashi and Shouta, but he didn't crave to be punished for running off again either. He went back to his dish wordlessly and soon enough, they could hear Hitoshi yell bye from the front door before he left.

Katsuki stayed stuck to staring at his plate and trying to stay unnoticed. Hitoshi no longer being there disturbed the dynamics, making it less of a family thing and more of a Katsuki-sitting-at-a-table-with-two-half-stranger-adults thing.

It didn't take long until the inevitable happened and Katsuki was spoken to right after they finished eating.

"So, Katsuki, could you stay for a bit? There are a few things we wanted to talk to you about." Hizashi started and Katsuki was ready to die right on the spot. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and reached for Kuro in his hood to hold him at his chest instead.