NOTE: Currently switching his book from 1st POV to 3rd POV. There'll definitely be some inconsistencies, especially as half of the chapter are edited and the other half not (essentially being my old writing style from late 2020 - early 2021).
The Fi...
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❝ when a measure (to prevent an issue) becomes a target(an issue), it ceases to be a good measure.
Chapter 22 - Hallelujah, My Ass
Monday, Night
America
We sat there for who knows how long. The fire soon died out though, a good signal to go back inside. It had already gotten cold anyways, it being September already. "Guess it's another night at the cabin, huh?" Russia nodded. "Yeah. Though, we're actually sleeping in the cabin this time." I could my face immediately grow hot. Did he really have to mention that?? All I can think about when I remember that day is falling asleep on him, which mind you, is something I still haven't gotten over! "Though it wasn't too bad since we were together, it's warmer than being alone." My throat hitched and I almost choked. Is he not phased at all? "I'd rather move on from that... that party wasn't my brightest moment," I noted. "Fine, fine."
Moving around the house, Russia turned on various switches and set up a few random things. "I will say, there is two beds but..." "...But?" A look of despair crossed his face. "...it's a bunk bed." Hearing that, I could hardly contain my laughter. "What, are you ten?" "Look I only stayed here when I was young, so me and Ukraine would sleep in the bunkbed." I stared in confusion. "...And your dad?" "He slept on the couch..." he muttered weakly. "Pfft, where'd all your pride go?" He flopped onto the couch with a huff and dragged a cushion onto his face. "It become my confidence in being a ballerina." I flopped onto the couch and sat beside him, trying to drag the cushion off his face. "Don't you mean ballerino?" "I'm going to murder you after this, now let me sulk," he groaned, rolling onto his side. "Oh hell no, we still have all night~" "Ay blyat, fine." While he did finally pull the pillow off his face, he also proceeded to throw it into mine. "There! Payback!" "C'mon! That was uncalled for." "Hey, fair's fair." I couldn't lie, he wasn't wrong. "Fine, you win."
We sat there in peaceful silence for a bit, when he seemed to remember something. "Hey... you haven't been ignoring everyone else so far, have you...?" The minute he pointed that out it felt like guilt personally served me up a dish of pain, immediately reminding me of the reality that existed outside of me and Russia. I scooched aside, then got up and shuffled through the kitchen, looking around for snacks. "Don't avoid my question Ame." Anxiety built up within me, making my head hurt and swarm me with negative thoughts. I really did want to answer honestly, but something so sudden had thrown my brain off, and now I just felt like a complete asshole realizing what I had done. Me sifting through the cabinets was just an easy way to avoid eye contact and keep my hands busy. It also made for a pretty easy excuse, 'I'm just hungry'. "Ame." I could hear his tone soften, but I still couldn't get the courage to speak to him. I knew it was irrational, I knew I was just caught off guard, but I desperately wanted to leave. It was so much easier to just run from your problems than just truly face them. I had been putting off the whole issue since Russia came over, and to be honest I hadn't yet processed it fully. My legs grew weak, and I crumpled to the ground, hiding behind the back of the couch.
