The Life We Had | Gay BxB |

36. Utter Mess

-Luke-

I should have been happy. I should have felt joy and hope and all that romantic crap, and I had felt all those things for a short moment, but when I watched Troy talking with that girl, Moira, and hearing Max wondering why Troy promised to go out with me... It was just hard to be happy when I knew painfully well that it was too good to be true.

I didn't know why Troy promised to go out with me. I had no idea what was going on in his head, or if he could date a guy, but I knew one thing: I could never make anyone happy. I had a small chance to be with him, but I knew already I would blow it. Even if Troy was the gayest person in the world, he would never start dating me.

There were just way too many flaws in me. That was why I couldn't be mad at Elisa or Sky or Moira. It wasn't their fault that I wasn't good enough. I tried to be, but... It just wasn't enough.

I headed to my locker and opened the door, grabbing the books for the first class. I slammed the door shut way too loudly, making myself cringe. I had a bad headache already, and the day hadn't even started yet. It was nothing new.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and started walking towards my first class. As if the headache wasn't bad enough, I felt a small, sharp jolt of pain going through my knee every time I stepped on my once broken leg. After two surgeries they still hadn't managed to make the pain disappear completely, and playing football was wearing it down even more, but I didn't want to quit. I would be graduating soon enough, anyway.

My stomach turned upside down when I thought about it. Now I could at least see Troy every day, but after graduating I would go to college, and he would forget all about me. I didn't want to leave high school, but sadly, my graduation was getting nearer with each passing day. I would be going to the local college if I got in, because it was cheaper to stay at home. Well, that was what I told everyone who asked.

"Luke! Over here!" I heard one of my classmates, Ronny, shouting cheerily, and I grit my teeth together when his loud voice pierced my ears.

I felt almost nauseous from the headache, and the chatting and yelling made it ten times worse. I wasn't sure if I was past having just a headache and starting to develop a migraine.

"Coach is mad, bro," Ronny spoke. "You missed the practice yesterday. So did Troy and Max."

I didn't reply to him. I just leaned against the wall and closed my eyes in hopes of giving some rest to my poor head.

"You missed the practice yesterday," Ronny repeated, and tapped my shoulder. "Are you even listening?"

"Get the fuck off..." I muttered and pushed his hand away.

"Fine, princess, but because of you, the rest of us spent almost an hour being yelled at," Ronny said with a pissed voice.

"I was busy," I told him angrily.