Benjiman Cartier Gotti, "BG" to the streets, "Benji" to those he cared about, which was slim to none. A young thug at the age of twenty one with a hustler's mentality, killer demeanor, and the game that could make any girl fall in love. With a heart...
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Talk __________________________
"You ever realize that just shutting down without communication is really just as toxic as arguing?" - Benjiman Cartier Gotti __________________________
Wednesday | August 7th
It was a very hot and sunny afternoon when BG found himself squatted down over his mother's tombstone. It had been on his mind a lot lately, so today he'd finally decided to come out and visit her. It was the first since he'd had the talk with his father, who revealed a lot of details he would've never guessed about his mother. A lot of what he'd found out about her, he didn't want to believe but after thinking .. it all finally added up now.
"Don't blame her," Benji had heard someone say from behind him. A frown quickly formed on his face as his head turned in the direction of those words only to see Jerome walking up behind him, flowers in hand. Benji stood to his feet and turned around to face his father.
"How can I not?" He mumbled as he then looked back towards his mother's grave. It was hard not to blame a person that he thought was someone else for his whole life. Not blaming his mother was definitely easier said than it was done. Since finding out about all the things his mother did, he couldn't even think of the same. He tried his best to keep the image of his mother that he'd had, but that was hard to do now after what he knew.
Jerome walked closer to the tombstone and placed the bouquet of flowers he'd brought down in front of it. A moment of silence passed before he finally stood up to his feet and claimed the spot next to his son. They had stood there for a moment or two before Jerome spoke.
"I didn't tell you what I told you to change how you'd felt about your mother. All the things that I'd told you were between her and I, not you. Brenda kept that side of her away from you for a reason, so continue to just remember her the way you knew her. It was never my intention to taint your mother's image or you memory of her, but only to get you to be more understanding."
Benji sucked his teeth. "Man, it's hard to remember a part of her that doesn't even seem real anymore. What you told me definitely changed a lot for me regardless if it was in you intentions or not." He'd shrugged.
Jerome shook his head. "Your mother was stubborn as you are now. She thought that what she was doing was protecting you, and it was only hurting you. If there is one thing I knew about your mom, it was that her love for you was endless and she just wanted to be the best. Nothing that I told you was ever to blame her for what happened between us. I just wanted you to understand that some of her decisions affected some of mine. I'm still to blame just as much as she is. I could've done a lot more than I did, so in no way am I trying to take it off of myself. Despite that, I love you son, I've always loved you and I want to a relationship with you, I do, I just don't want it at the cost of you hating your mother behind this. I explained everything to you because you are a grown man and old enough to understand, not so your views of your mother would change. She was her best, a good mother, so remember her that way."
