Fifth Harmony oneshots and preferences

Your suicide letter

A/N triggering contains suicide. Don't read this if you can't

Dear Fifth Harmony or whoever has the unfortunate task of finding me,
I'm sorry. I tried to hold on but I just couldn't anymore. I had too many things that I hid and they a grave. To tell you the truth, I think that my suicide was just waiting to happen, ever since I was born. Something was always off about me. My parents worried until I pushed them so far out of my life that there was no coming back. It didn't take long. In the eighth grade, I fell deeper into depression then ever before. It didn't sleep like I used to and when I did I'd wake up more tired than the night before. Eventually I started taking my thoughts out of my head. My friends got just as worried as my parents. I left them and I found a group of people that were like me. They showed me how to escape. That's how you found me. High and delusional. You girls took me home. Who knows why, I mean I was a fifteen year old drug addict and I rarely made it to the last class at school. I'd get suspended more then everyone else in the school together. I was feared by everyone but you took me in.

I don't know if I ever really thank you girls. You did so muck for me when you could of left me out there. If you had I would've ended up in the same situation as I'm in right now except that I'd already be dead. Thank for taking me in, giving me the past two years of my life drug, violence and alcohol free. I have a new understanding for what love is from you wonderful five girls. But life just isn't worth it as ironic as it is I'm not worth it. So please, don't cry. Don't be sad. I don't deserve for you to he sad about me. I don't deserve any of this. Anything but death, a slow and painful one at that but to make you all feel better I'll make it quick and painless.

I don't know how to say goodbye but I'll try. I've never been good at them. You all need to move on and hope that you'll never see me again. Please don't make a seen. Let me go easily. Don't try and hold on. You'll just prolong fate and death doesn't like to be kept waiting. It's already been waiting two years. It's getting inpatient and I'm ready to go so goodbye.

To my parents,
I'm sorry I wasn't a good daughter. You tried your best but I didn't want it. I pushed you away and all the blame is on me. Don't let my death slow you down. You have more important people that depend on you. Tell the rest of the family that I over dosed in an ally on purpose. It'll be better that they think it was an accident, you know that they'll unfair blame you if they know I died on purpose. I love even if didn't show that. I'm sorry and I always will be. Love, your daughter, Y/N.

Ally,
Ally, Ally, Ally. You were always the mom. You watched out for me. You stopped me from doing stupid things and let's not forget the countless times you held me back from taking the pills, or downing the drink in the fridge. I remember when you banned all substances that people under eighteen weren't aloud. Just to let you now Dinah and Lauren have drinks under their bed but I didn't tell you. If Dinah or Lauren read that last line I'm talking about a different Dinah and Lauren plus, stop looking in other peoples stuff. As much as I hate you for stopping me from jumping back on the train it makes me love you even more. You are one of the last people on this planet that still has good intentions, always. You are the nicest person I have ever had the honour of meeting let alone becoming friends with. I'll never forget you but you need to forget me. I love you Ally. Please forgive me. Y/N

Normani,
Nope, Mani. Always has been always will be. I love you so much. You are the best, most fun, craziest sister I could ever have but don't tell anyone else I said that. I just want to say, I'm sorry that I'm going to miss your wedding. All of the girl's too but mostly yours because it is going to be fantastic, just like you and you are going to look amazing. That's probably one of the things I'm most sad that I'm going to miss but you aren't even dating anyone seriously right now and I can't wait years for that day. I'm going to miss you but don't miss me. I don't deserve it. No matter what happens over the next few years, know that the girls love you so much and so does your family. I have a feeling that your going to doubt that sometime soon but don't they love you. Please stay strong for all the people that need you and for yourself. I love you so much, Y/N.

Lauren,
Jauregui. You are the one for advice. People think that you don't care and that you're so tough but I know that you aren't. I know that you get scared and peoples words hurt you. Don't let them. You are so deep in thought that some people think that you don't care when in reality you care too much. Remember to think about yourself too. A lot of people would be hurt if something happened to you and I think that your going to be the thing that hurts you. That day when you got a ton of hate, I saw you in the bathroom, talking to yourself. In that interview you said that you look self in the eye and tell yourself to stop, stop Lauren don't let you get you down. We talked about promises what would be three nights ago. You said that you hate when people make promises that they can't keep. I'm going to fulfill two last promises to you so you can't be mad at me. First I'll make my death painless and I won't hurt myself anymore. Second in my room under your favourite book that I just finished by the way there is a key. Take the key and lift up the mattress. Under it there is a box, it doesn't make for good sleeping but it keeps it safe. There's a book inside for you. It has a song on the last page. I promised you that I would share one song with you. I love you Lauren, Y/N.

Camila,
So, my weird fairy princess banana lover that just turned eighteen I'm dead. Don't let me get your goof level down though weirdo. Dance like a freak at my funeral if you want. Actually I'd like it if you and Lauren could put together a playlist for my funeral. Make it a real FUNeral. Get it, no, okay, you're the funny one. You were the one that didn't mind being laughed at and you always put your funny side out for a joke but sometimes that backfired. Sometimes people get confused. They think that your entire life is a joke and it' snot. Don't be afraid to show your sensitive side and don't be afraid to get mad when someone makes a joke about something personal. And Mila, give yourself some credit your a smart girl, oh man I sound like a mom trying to boost her daughters self esteem but I'm serious you're smarter than you give yourself and other people give you credit for. Don't be afraid to show your rainbow Camila. I love you,
Y/N.

Dinah-Jane
You have so many sides and I still haven't seen them all. Let them show. People will love you even more for it. You are so different then anyone else I have ever met and that's a good thing. You stand up for what you believe in and stay there for it. You never leave what you are passionate about. Don't work yourself too hard. Sometimes people forget that your the youngest and your still a kid. Make sure that you watch out for yourself and don't push people that care about you away, you know I have too much experience with that. It's alright to depend on people just make sure that they're the right people. You've said it yourself, you fall hard and fast. That's just you but it can hurt you, don't let the people that want to hurt you or don't care about you into your life. Remember when you first took me in, you thought that a heart to heart talk would help you find things out. You thought that you were getting somewhere and then I said that I didn't care about either of us. You said something that' stuck with me all this time and almost makes me not regret saying that because of what I found out. You said that you cared enough for the both of us. I've never forgotten that. I don't need you to care anymore so let me go and don't fall. You made life worth living Dinah. I love you, Y/N.

Goodbye, I love you all more than you could ever fathom. Thank you for making the past two years worth living, really living.

A tear drop fell onto your page but I wasn't yours.

A/N five votes and three comments for part two.