The crisp smell of a new composition book invades my nostrils as I open it to begin my endeavors of writing my deepest darkest secrets. I lean against the corner of the wall from on top of my loft bed and take the cap off my favorite pen to start the first page.
' Dear Diary,
Well I guess it's kind of childish to start it off with that, as I am 17 years old, almost 18. Anyway, I have something major to get off my chest and I can't tell my best friend, Matt, because I feel like he would look at me like a disgusting four headed freak. Today, I realized that I am head over heels in love with my brothers. Not just one of them, all three of them. Not that loving any of them is remotely okay in society but do I care? No. Will they ever know? No. So, no harm no foul, right? I guess it all started a year ago, I began looking at them in a different way at different times. First was Dakota, he's the closest of the three to me, probably because we share a room and the same parents. Damon and Sebastian are our half brothers, we share the same mom but different dads. Their dad was married to our mom, however, he got cancer then passed away. Then mom met Dakota's and my dad, but they divorced when he cheated and left us to go live with the tramp across country.
Back to Dakota, he is 6 feet flat, and has beautiful auburn hair that is styled as an undercut with a fluffy quiff on top. I want to run my hand through his hair every time I look at him, it looks so soft. He has a lean and strong body from playing soccer. He also has the most beautiful emerald green eyes. Dakota is an easy going, funny and loveable kind of guy. It's hard to stay mad him for long.
Now, Damon and Sebastian, They are fraternal twins. I swear they are the definition of yin and yang. Damon is 6 foot 4 and has a crew cut of raven colored hair, he's gruff and tough with prominent muscular features. A total 'daddy' in my book. Sebastian is 6 foot 3 and has longer, shoulder length blonde hair. Sebastian is the caring and loving type, Damon's nickname for him is sunshine because he reminds Damon of the dude off of 'Remember the Titans'. He has a muscular body as well, but the two of them showcase it in different ways, if that makes sense. Like, Damon is gym muscle, while Sebastian is football /wrestler muscle. I don't know, it makes sense to me. They both have piercing sapphire eyes, absolutely breathtaking.
It's kind of funny and unique because the twins were born in September, which Sapphire is the birthstone and Dakota was born in May, emerald is the birthstone.
Compared to those modern day Adonis', I am nothing special. I am a whopping 5 foot 5, shortish brown hair that curls up at the ends when I put a beanie on. I have boring brown eyes and I am skinny and pale. No muscle mass whatsoever. I was born in June, so my birthstone is pearl, I mean I guess it matches my pearly white smile. I want to become a dentist one day, I am really into teeth hygiene.
No one besides my best friend, Matt, knows about me even being gay.
*sigh* Even if they weren't my brothers, I don't think I'd have a chance with any of them.
I guess that is it for today.
The one and only Jace'
I honestly don't know why I signed it at the bottom, like I was actually sending it to someone. I let out a frustrated sigh before capping my pen back up. I grab my permanent marker and shut the book and start to write on the cover. 'Diary of Jace' I snicker to myself at the Breaking Benjamin reference. I hid the book in the underside of my pillow case before moving to climb off my bed. I jump down to the floor and put my pen and marker back in the cupholder on my desk. I am pretty neat and organized with my things and I hate when other people touch my stuff so everything of mine is usually safe in it's place. I turn and look at the other side of the room and analyzed Dakota's side. He, on the other hand, not so organized. Clean or dirty clothes scattered across his bed and floor. His bed is not made and his dresser top is filled with deodorant sticks and cologne bottles knocked over. Shaking my head, I stretch up my arms before making my way out of the room and down the stairs to head to the living room. Rustling and grunt noises made their way to my ears and I enter the room to see Damon and Dakota wrestling on the floor as Sebastian sits on the sofa, scrolling through his phone.
"You know, being the wrestler, I thought I'd see you on the floor too" I quietly commented sitting in the recliner next to the sofa.
"They are fighting over the remote again, I could care less on what we watch" He looked at me with an amused smirk before turning back to his phone. This is what we usually did on Friday nights, watch movies until mom came home from work. She is a partner to a big time CEO of a business in the city. She's gone before we get up and gets back around six in the evening. Sometimes, she has to go all over the country to take part in business deals, so we have to fend for ourselves. Damon and Sebastian are 23 and graduate college this year, Dakota is a year older than me being 18 and in his first year of college, and I am in my senior year of high school. So, of course it's not actually fending for ourselves, we're all grown but none really have perfected the art of cooking.
"It's my turn!" I heard Dakota grunt loudly, his head was encased in Damon's arm while flailing his limbs trying to grab hold of the remote that Damon was holding out of reach.
"Then get it, shorty" Damon teased waving it in front of Dakota's face. He tried grabbing at it but Damon kept pulling it away at last second. Dakota huffed and kneed Damon in the side. It did minimal damage with the hold Damon had. He whined "I'm not the shorty, Jace is"
"Hey!" I exclaimed with a pout. "Well you are" Dakota countered while trying to hop, eventually he flipped them over and he was able to escape Damon's hold on his head. Damon quickly reacted and rolled over on top of Dakota's body though.
"Ughhhh you're squishing me" he strained out "Uncle, Uncle!" while slapping his hands on the floor. Damon chuckled and jumped up with a satisfied smile. He walked over and sat on the other side of the sofa, turned the tv and started searching movies on Netflix. Dakota laid panting on the floor, turning his face towards me. His face was red and his hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat.
"Hey Jacey, will you grab me a water bottle?" he rasped out.
"Sure" I got up and made my way to the kitchen, grabbing a couple cold bottles of water from the fridge. I returned to the living room and scoffed. "Excuse you" I narrowed my eyes at the chair stealer.
"You got up" Dakota shrugged making grabby hands at the water in my hands.
"You asked for water, that's not fair" I handed a bottle to Damon and Sebastian, earning small 'thanks' from both of them.
"All's fair in love and war" he replied cheekily, I rolled my eyes and then made my way over to the recliner and made sure to plop hard on to Dakota's lap. He groaned and I sat back wiggling my body to get 'comfy'.
"Ahhhh, what a comfy chair" I said while taking a swig of my water.
"I'm glad you're enjoying this" he deadpanned "Can I have my water now?"
"Hmmmm do you guys hear something?" I tilted my head to the side as I looked at my other two brothers.
"Nope not at all" they replied in unison with grins on their faces.
"It sounded like an annoying buzzing sound...like a fly" I stroked my chin with my index finger and thumb.
"I'll show you annoying" Dakota said putting his hands on my sides and starts to tickle. My eyes widened at the sudden attack and began laughing hysterically. I dropped both water bottles as my body clammed up trying to deflect his fingers. "S-s-s-stop!" I cried out laughing.
He paused his actions "Can I have my water?"
"Yes. Yes. Just stop with the tickling" I huffed out reaching down and grabbing both bottles again and turning to give him his. "Will you get off me now?" he asked after gulping down almost his entire bottle. Some of the water trickled out of his mouth and I watched it travel down his chin.
"Nope" I said with a pop of the 'p' drinking more of my water before turning my body forward and getting cozy again, calming down my heavy breathing. Damon put on 'Central Intelligence' and we all sat quietly while watching the movie. Well, I was sort of watching. I was to hyper aware of the warmth of the body under me. I could feel every inch of him pressed into my backside. It also didn't help that his light breaths tickled my shoulder and neck. Why did I think sitting on him for revenge was a good idea? Oh yeah, because it would be if you didn't find him insanely attractive.
"Jacey" he whispers in my ear, I shiver and hum in response "Will you make some popcorn for us?" I groaned in protest, then froze when I felt his lips brush against my ear "Please?" I felt my cheeks redden while glancing toward the twins. They were too engrossed in the movie to pay attention.
"Fine" I reply quietly, I got up and made my way into the kitchen yet again. I rummaged through the pantry grabbing a bag of popcorn and popping it into the microwave. I should probably sit between the twins when I go back. I can't risk getting a boner while sitting on top of him. How would I explain that? I facepalm and then the microwave beeps and I grab a bowl to put the popcorn in. I shake the bag and then empty the contents in the bowl. After throwing away the bag, I grab the bowl and go to re-enter the living room but stop when I heard a hushed whisper yell.
"I wasn't doing anything!" I identified that as Dakota.
"Yes, you did, we saw you!" I heard Bash( my nickname for Sebastian) reply back. "What'd he do?" I ask confused while grabbing a piece of popcorn and throwing it in the air to catch in my mouth.
"Nothing" all of them reply.
"Ooooohkie" I said with raised brows, I hand Kota(My nickname for Dakota) the popcorn then turn and sat between the twins. I seen a frown appear on his face then turned his attention back on the tv. There was a small ache in my chest knowing I made him sad for not continuing to sit with him. I just couldn't though.
A little while later, the sound of keys jingled against the door indicating that mom was home.
"Hey boys, you didn't get into any trouble did you?" Mom asked while slipping off her stilettoes.
"No" we all groan. She acts like we throw parties whenever she's not around.
"Chicken alfredo for dinner?" she questions standing at the back of the sofa. I tilt my head back to look at her. She is dressed in her normal pencil skirt and dress top. Her and I share hair color, but she has green eyes, not quite as rich as Dakota's though.
"My favorite!" I exclaim happily, she smiles and pinches my cheek. "Will you come help me dear?" I nod and then she turns and makes her way to the kitchen. I lazily get up from the sofa but get stopped by Damon's hand catching my wrist. I blush a little and felt little tingles from the small interaction.
"Will you make your yummy garlic cheese bread?"
"I don't know how you maintain that body of yours, when you eat the way you do"
"All in moderation little bro" he lets go of my wrist and shines his million dollar smile. "Yes, I will make them" I reply while skipping into the kitchen to join mom to make dinner.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of Secrets(BL)
Romance(Book 1) Jace has secrets he needs to share but can't share them with his best friend. So, he turns to writing in a diary. What secrets are held within the pages? And what happens when someone finds them?
