Diary of Secrets(BL)

Chapter 18

!Warning! Sexual content ahead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ride home from the carnival was quiet besides the soft music playing from the radio. Damon driving with Sebastian's hand in his. Dakota and I, in the back seat, our heads leaning against each other and I'm one hundred percent certain that he was sleeping considering the soft snores coming from his lips. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

We were about fifteen minutes from home and my mind is going a thousand miles a minute. God, what if he doesn't like it or what if he doesn't even want to. Well he didn't say he didn't want to, he just asked if I was ready. Ugh, curse my overthinking mind. I texted Matt for some advice on what to do, it being my first time.

'Mattsy': Just go with the flow dude, just relax and breathe :)

I texted him back an okay and a thank you. He made sense, relax and breathe.

'Mattsy': Have fun ;)

I rolled my eyes and put my phone in my pocket. Soon, we pulled into our driveway, Damon and Sebastian got out of the truck and made their way into the house while I lightly shook Dakota awake.

"Kota, wake up, we're home" I said softly in his ear. He yawned and stretched cutely and I couldn't help but giggle. We both got out of the truck and head inside and directly upstairs. Dakota crashed on to his bed face first going right back to sleep.

"Goodnight to you too" I said with a chuckle. I went into the bathroom to freshen up and do some necessary cleaning before the events about to happen. I slipped on some loose sleep pants and an oversized tshirt. I know, so sexy right? I took a couple deep breaths before I got up the courage to leave the room to go to Sebastian's. I made sure to tuck Dakota in and give a kiss on his temple, whispering a 'Sweet Dreams' before shutting the light off and leaving the room.

I padded my way across the hall to Sebastian's door, that was cracked open. I pushed it open and stepped in the room, shutting the door quietly. I heard the shower running in his en suite, so I sat on his bed to wait for him to come out. I glanced around his room because I don't really come in here all that often. His room is pretty plain, I mean he has a desk with his laptop on it, a stethoscope with a bunch of books for college sitting next to it. He has a dresser and some side tables by his bed, but nothing to extraordinary. There's one portrait of a tiger above his headboard, beautiful picture but that's the most colorful thing in his room.

I heard the shower turned off and then the doorknob turning, Sebastian walking out of the door with billows of steam following him. He only has a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and his golden blonde hair, dripping wet with water cascading down his torso. I internally groaned at the gorgeous man in front of me.

"Oh jeez Jay, I didn't know you were in here" he said looking slightly startled once his eyes caught me on his bed.

"Sorry, the door was open" I said awkwardly.

"It's okay, just thought you went to bed" he said

"I could go, if you want me to" I said with my head down, fiddling with my fingers. Maybe he doesn't want to. Before getting too into my thoughts, he stepped in front of me and lifted my chin with his finger, making our eyes lock together.

"I thought you may have changed your mind...I'm more than happy to have you here love" he gave me a small smile, stroking my chin with his finger.

"No, I want to still" I said just barely above a whisper. I could feel my cheeks heat up with what I said along with the intense gaze I held with him.

"Are you sure?" he asks me again to make sure it's what I want. My adoration for him grows with the concern he holds in his eyes and words.

"Yes" I softly confirmed, licking my lips as he leaned down slowly. My heart started to pound in my chest with every inch he got closer to me. His hand travels from my chin to the back of my head and he cups it as his lips connect with mine. My eyes close with the feeling of his soft and wet lips against mine. Our lips move in a slow rhythm, my hands moving up to rest on his chest. He removed his hand from the back of my head and both of his hands skimmed down my sides before slowly tugging up my shirt over my head.

"Scoot up to the middle of the bed" he told me and I immediately complied. He removed his towel, letting it fall to the floor. My eyes traveled all over his beautiful body before directing my attention to the the hardening member, the towel once hid. He went over to the side table and grabbed out a bottle of lube before he crawled on to the bed, hovering over my tiny body. I don't know why but it turned me on, how tiny I am compared to him. He reconnected our lips while skimming one of his hands from the side of my thigh, up the rest of my body. I shivered with goosebumps erupting on my skin. His tongue swiped my bottom lip asking for entrance, I granted it, moaning at the contact of his tongue against mine. I slipped my arms around his neck while our tongues slid against each other before I was letting his tongue explore my mouth as much as he wanted.

With a chaste kiss to my lips, he moved his lips to kiss along my jawline down to my neck. Each kiss increased the fire inside of me. He nibbled and sucked lightly on my sweet spot, easy to know where considering Damon's and Dakota's marks were still relatively present.

"Bash" I moaned, threading a hand through his hair while I tilted my head to the side to give him more access to my neck. He spent his time kissing everywhere, like he was cherishing my body. He worked his way down to my chest, scattering kisses all over. When he got to my nipples, he sucked on them and grazed his teeth lightly against them. With the attention he was giving me, I was harder than a rock.

His lips worked their way down my stomach to the waistband of my sleep pants. He looked up at me as if asking permission. I lifted my hips slightly and he hooked his fingers and slipped the pants down and off my body to reveal the navy blue lace panties against my pale skin.

"They look beautiful on you" he said huskily with pure lust in his eyes. If I could be anymore turned on, I would be because the look in his eyes sent a shock right to my erection. He hooked his fingers under the panties and gently slid them off as well to join the pants on the floor. My hard dick hit my stomach and I blushed, being completely exposed and Sebastian looking at my body with such hunger in his eyes. He wrapped his hands around my ankles, bending my legs so I was opened up to him. I felt my whole body heat up, with nervousness but also some anticipation.

"Do you want me to continue?" he asked making my eyes look into his. I nodded and rested my head back against the pillows. I heard the lube cap open, next thing I know I felt the cool liquid on my entrance. His finger circling it.

"Just relax and breathe love, if you want me to stop, let me know at anytime" he said in a serious tone.

"Okay" I said quietly. I should've prepped myself a little more honestly, so I wouldn't be so nervous about even his fingers. He gently pushed his finger in, it didn't hurt just uncomfortable like when I did it. He worked his finger for a couple minutes while kissing up and down my thighs. It warms my heart with how sweet, gentle and loving he is being. He slid in a second finger, and like last time it was a slightly painful but not unbearable.

"Doing okay, my love?" he asked in a gentle tone and I nodded in response. He continued to give both of my thighs loving kisses and then he added a third finger. I hissed with the sting of pain. I have to take in to consideration that his fingers are a little bit bigger than mine as well. He paused his fingers and kissed my tip then swirled his tongue around the head as he slowly started to push them in. He took more of my length in his mouth as he started to work his fingers. The uncomfortableness still evident, but slowly fading with the pleasure that was added by him sucking on me. Soon, I was letting out soft moans with the attention of both areas giving me pleasure. I whined when the sudden loss of his fingers and mouth. He crawled up my body again giving me a deep and passionate kiss. He put his forehead to mine and looked into my eyes.

"Tell me to stop if you need to, okay?" he said sincerely.

"Okay, Bash" I kissed his lips with finality. He leaned back grabbing the lube bottle and coating his dick with a generous amount. He positioned himself and I took a couple deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I felt the tip of his dick against me.

"Relax and breathe, love" he pushed his tip slowly in and my breath hitched as the stretch stung more than the toy I used did. He rubbed circles on my hips as he paused his movements. He waited a second before he pushed in a little more. I whimpered and bit my lip with the pain.

"Are you okay?" he asked and I nodded "Keep going" I squeaked out. I know the pain subsides so I just gotta bare it. He wrapped one hand around my dick and started a slow stroke to help take some of the pain away as he slipped in more.

Eventually, he was all the way in, he was hovering above me with both arms on each side of me. His eyes bore into mine as I adjust to him, my hands gripping his shoulder blades. He bent his head down and captured my lips in a soft kiss.

"I love you" he said with so much love laced in his words.

"I love you, Bash" I replied kissing him to show all the emotions I held behind those words. He smiled against my lips and I gently moved my hips to indicate him to start moving. He got the hint and pulled back a little bit and thrusted himself back in slowly. Our lips dancing together as he slowly made love to me. All pain disappeared and moans started to fall against his lips more frequently. We pulled apart for air, I bent my head back and he trailed open mouthed kisses to my neck to nibble and suck gently.

"Faster Bash" I moaned out. He did not disappoint. He started to thrust a little faster, he hooked one of my legs with one of his arms and pulled my leg up to bend toward my chest more. With the different angle he hit my prostate, I arched my back and let out the loudest moan.

"There...Bash....please" I moaned breathlessly, gripping his shoulders harder, my nails slightly digging into his skin. He pulled back and slammed into that spot and my eyes rolled to the back of my head with the amount of ecstasy enveloping my body. I screamed with each thrust as he slammed into my prostate over and over again. If I wasn't drowning in pleasure, I would be embarrassed with how loud I am being. The familiar pooling of heat in my stomach began to coil up.

"Bash" I moaned "I-I'm gonna cum" I reached down with one of my hands and began to stroke my dick.

"Cum my love" he huskily whispered in my ear. With a few more thrusts and strokes of my hand my release came.

"Bash" I moaned loudly, my cum splattering across my stomach. I moaned softly as he captured my lips in a fierce kiss as his thrusts faltered and he groaned against my lips. I felt his warm seed fill me as his hips slowed their rhythm to a stop. He broke our kiss and stared into my eyes and I couldn't help the goofy grin that came across my face.

"That was...fantastic...incredible...mind blowing" I said with a giggle. Sebastian chuckled and kissed my nose.

"Yes, it definitely was" He said with a smile and slowly pulled out and I shivered. "Let's get showered up" He kissed my forehead before getting up off of me. He offered a hand to help me up.

"What a gentleman" I giggled and accepted his hand, scooting off the bed. We went in the bathroom and he started the water. When it got to the right temperature he let me stand under the water as he was in the cold part of the shower to wait his turn. He took his body wash and started to rub it all over my body, taking his time cleaning every inch. When I rinsed off, I switched spots with him and did the same top him, even though he didn't get as 'dirty' as me. He rinsed off and we both got out of the shower, he wrapped me in one of his big fluffy towels while he grabbed another for him from the cabinet.

"I sleep naked by the way" he mentioned as we stepped back into the room.

"That's fine...I will too" I quietly said with a blush. I mean he's already seen everything anyway. I climbed in his bed as he went to turn off the light. He climbed in next to me and I snuggled up into his side. My head on his chest with my leg slung over his legs.

"Thank you" I whispered into the dark.

"It was an honor to be your first, my love" he said leaning to kiss the top of my head. "Now, let's get some sleep" he tightened his arm around me.

"Night, I love you Bash" I kissed his chest and nuzzled into his side more.

"Goodnight Jay, I love you" he replied.

I fell into a nice slumber with a smile on my face.