A world of my own - MINSUNG

Part 7 - Jisung

WHAT. THE . FUCK. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME???

WHY THE HELL DID I SAY THAT SKSJFLKHFLKAHLKF

*brain malfunction*

I MUST BE INSANE! DID I ACTUALLY SAY - ME, OF ALL PEOPLE, THAT I WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH LEE MINHO?!?

I must have been feeling more warm to him than usual after finding out that his father was dead on the student record, but instead of the right words, I said something totally different. As soon as the words left my mouth not only did I immediately regret it but Minho looked at me like I'd grown two extra heads. "Excuse me- what the heck? What'd you just say???" He sounded incredulous.

I turned bright red. "N-nothing," I stammered, then got up and ran off towards All Caf. I felt like dying of embarrassment.

And it wasn't even because of what I had just said. It was because I hadn't said it by accident.

I think I may be falling in love with Lee Minho.

-

It might have started when he kissed me. I felt something different in me that I hadn't felt when I had kissed the two girls or the boy.

(if you don't want to know the stories behind them, skip and continue reading >>>  the first girl, Ji Eun, was a really pretty sophomore I met at some rich girl's party. She was singing at the karaoke machine and everyone was hyping her up when suddenly one of her noisy friends grabbed me by the elbow and yelled that we should kiss. I didn't even want to go to the party, Hyunjin forced me to. She looked embarrassed for me and quickly kissed which I was grateful for. The other girl, Lisa, was my seventh-grade 'try-out' girlfriend. She insisted we should kiss once to prove we were dating and immediately dumped me after that one kiss. The time with the boy was far by the best. He was a guy I met in an art gallery once; he and I kept bumping into each other in the gallery over the summer, and he was really cute and shy. We kissed in the park at night when watching the stars twinkle in the sky. I never found out what his name was or saw him again.)

He kissed so much more passionately; it felt intimate and familiar. I didn't know it but I started to subconsciously like him then. It didn't help that he kept worrying about my cut or that he was so good looking I found myself staring at him when he didn't notice. I thought I hated him, and maybe I still did, but at the same time I found that I'd grown feelings for Lee Minho the school's most popular guy.

And the most unattainable guy for me.

"Jisung, what are you- Be careful! That damn mug is overflowing," Jeongyeon said, pulling the mug out of harm's way.

I jumped a little. "Shit, I'm sorry. My mind was totally somewhere else."

She sighed. "You can go home, Jisung. You're distracted today. It's fine."

"What? Really?" I was surprised. Jeongyeon was usually really strict about shifts.

"Yes, really, but promise me one thing," she said,

"Sure, whatever you want, Jeongyeon," I said, pulling my apron off. Score! There was still at least two hours left of my shift. I could watch some anime and-

"Just make sure you don't break Minho's heart. He's a good boy."

-

I piled the dishwasher. As I boiled some instant ramen in a saucepan, my mother came into the kitchen motioning a 'two' with her fingers -  meaning I should make her one as well, as she spoke on the phone. Minutes later my father came in. "Make me one too, would you, son," he said not looking up from his crossword that he literally did while walking everywhere.

"Jeez, why can't you guys tell me when I make the first one," I scowled, but really I didn't care; I was mulling over what Jeongyeon had said. 

"Don't break Minho's heart"? What did she mean by that? And since when is Minho a good boy? Maybe she meant something else and I had misunderstood.

As I spooned noodles into three bowls, my father pulled his eyes away from the crossword long enough to sit at the table. "This smells good, Sungie," he said. "Maria, come and get the ramen while it's still hot."

Mom came in still talking on the phone motioning with her fingers a 'five' meaning she'll be done in five minutes. We started on the noodles. They tasted delicicious.

"How's school going?" said Dad. "I hear you've got a prom in a week or so."

"Yeah, but I don't plan to go," I said with my mouth full.

Unless Minho asks me to.

The thought came to me so suddenly my chest hurt. I dropped my chopsticks on the floor. 

"What's wrong, son? Are they too spicy?" he said, concerned.

"I'm fine," I said, trying to breathe in evenly. "It's OK. I'll go wash these."

The tears that had sprung to my eyes I allowed to fall as I stood at the sink, as not just my chest, but my heart started hurting at the pain of having to love a boy I couldn't have.