A world of my own - MINSUNG

Part 17 - Lee Know

I barely felt the bear fall out of my hand.

The world tilted a little. Sometimes I would get these headaches when I was too young to be home alone and Ma would take me abroad with her; we wouldn't be able to find my inhaler anywhere, so I would feel light-headed and sometimes when I was really young I would have passed out. My asthma was another thing my father couldn't bear. "It's the sign of a weak man," he would say. "I could smoke one hundred cigarettes a day, but my breathing will never be as bad as yours."

I clenched my fist hard, the red I was seeing in front of my eyes making it difficult to concentrate. I breathed in and out, slowly, then pulled my inhaler out, gripping it hard. My hand was trembling.

When I had got to the park at first it was empty but then I saw Jisung walking around looking up at the stars, his smile making my heart feel warm. I was about to walk over to him when someone else made their way over,

and hugged him.

I stopped short. He wasn't much taller than Sungie but they almost fell on the grass from the weight of his hug. Then he pulled back and smiled; I didn't like the way he was smiling at him. Like he was subconsciously flirting. I could feel myself tensing already.

Don't be uptight, Minho, I could feel myself thinking. Sure, they were hugging. But they could be friends. After all, didn't Chris and I hug? We were friends. Jisung and Jeongin hugged. They were friends.

I would have let it go. I wouldn't have mentioned it to Jisung, if they hadn't kissed.

The other boy was the one who kissed Sungie. I felt my body grow rigid. I wanted to hit him. How dare he kiss my boyfriend, I thought, who the funky does he think he is?! This bastard! But Sungie didn't pull away from him.
He kissed him back.

Watching the two of them, I had a brief, weird thought. Did Jisung ever touch my face so tenderly when we kissed? Did he do that to everyone? Was I just one of many?

I remembered the day of our first kiss, Jisung didn't kiss me back, he tried to push me away. He might have been surprised but even in the moment of his confusion, he didn't want me.

I turned around and started walking away. It had started to rain so I could barely see which way I was going. Or maybe that was just the cloud of tears that was stopping me from seeing anything.

[a/n DHSKDKLS I HATE THIS KIND OF PART IN A STORY BUT I HAD TO WRITE IT... THEY MAKE ME CRINGE SO FUCKING HARD 😩 anyway poor Minho. I hope Minsung said but ig we'll just have to see..? 🤔]