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{ - Hey guys, as you can tell it's been very difficult for me to continue this story. I have no idea where it is headed and honestly, I lost the motivation of writing it long ago. If it wasn't for those of you who beg for updates, I would have scrapped it altogether and moved to another story I was writing that was all my own original plot. Once this story is over, I will definitely move onto that one. The purpose of me saying all this is to mention a couple of things. 1: I am in college now. I started this story when I was like, 13 or something. I don't have free time to write updates all the time, especially when I don't want to. 2: To the people who demand or expect updates as soon as they comment, understand that I am a human being and there are plenty of stories for you to read. 3: To those of you who are polite and ask for updates, thank you. 4: Finally, the pace of this story is going to speed up as I would like to finish it as soon as possible. For those of you who truly admire my work, please bear with me and I will soon be posting original works. - }

TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of grooming/manipulation.

  -= Edward =-

  I was really getting sick of being in hospitals. Isabella was a skilled danger magnet, and I was going to get an ulcer if I had to keep dealing with her getting injured. Not to mention, I still hadn't told her what happened at the party...

   After two days of recovery in the hospital overnight, Bella was released with the prescription of plenty of bed rest. While I tried my best to stop by and spend time with her every day, Emmett had me getting interviewed and attending events almost every day to help with the promotion of Heartstrings. Since Bella clearly wasn't in any form to do her own promotional events, I made sure to talk her up to all the reporters as often as possible. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to be interested in any Isabella Swan details when they caught me going for a jog shirtless one day. That was just inconvenient and awkward timing.

  Heartstrings was wrapped and in the editing and CGI process, and the release date was altered due to some technical difficulties with the writer. It didn't matter, though - the buzz of excitement throughout the media was unrelenting and seemed to increase by the day.

  As wrong as it was for me to say, I was thankful to Emmett for keeping me busy and away from Bella. I could hardly look at her face without being wracked with guilt - not just for leaving her that night, but also for not telling her the truth: Victoria had kissed me. And I didn't push her away.

  I mean, I did eventually. But at first, I was definitely reciprocating. I couldn't decide if it was the emotional manipulation she still had over me, or me just being a total scumbag, but I had fucked up. Badly. Victoria got me into the industry when I was just sixteen, and the dark truth in Hollywood is that a shit ton of sexual manipulation happens behind closed doors. Lately, it has been much more exposed than it has in the past, but it's hardly discussed between the women in the industry and young boys. She had me wrapped around her finger and my naive teenaged brain got me into some fucked up situations that I ran from for the next three years. And then, I went to that stupid party and I was forced to face all the demons I had worked so hard to shove into the very back corner of my mind.

  I knew Bella would be understanding if I had told her. I didn't know why I never could bring myself to let her know my past. But now that I had kissed Victoria - I had cheated on Bella with the one ghost of my past I desperately wanted to forget - I knew Bella could not be understanding of that. Hell, I didn't even understand it. And while half of me knew I needed to tell her, the other half of me was terrified she would kick me to the curb and I would lose the one person in my life who didn't look at me like I was damaged or broken.

  Today, though, I had nothing on my plate. After picking some tiger lilies from the local flower shop I knocked politely on Bella's door. My stomach churned uncomfortably in anticipation. When my Bella opened the door, she looked absolutely stunning as always. Her hair was in a bun, and besides the bandage on her arm, you would never believe she was a survivor of being shot a week previous. She wore no makeup, but her eyes still sparkled when she saw me.

  "Edward," she sighed happily. "I'm so glad to see you. I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby," I murmured, holding the flowers out to her. She beamed and gestured to welcome me inside. 

  I stepped inside and followed her up to her bedroom, noticing that she took the liberty to start cleaning. Police and crime scene cleaners did a great job cleaning all the blood and DNA, but Bella was unfortunately left with all the knocked-over furniture and strewn laundry. While she refreshed the flowers in her vase, hanging her old ones to dry on the doorframe of her closet, I sat down on her bed and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. 

  "Bella, we need to talk," I began, forcing my voice to keep steady so she would understand the seriousness of the situation. I noticed her stiffen, but she nodded and came to sit beside me.

  "Okay," she replied, slightly apprehensive but objective.

  "Remember the party a week ago? The redhead you saw me with?"

  She sat up straighter, clearing her throat. "Um. Yes."

"Well, we go back a long time. She got me into the industry, actually."

"Okay, so she's an old friend of yours?"

"Not exactly..." I picked at my nails, taking a deep breath before trying again. "She um... well, she manipulated me. I was young and naive, and she took advantage of that. I got into some projects I shouldn't have with her. She told me to lie and say I was eighteen. She had the power to convince them I wasn't lying, so they never ID'd me before... filming."

  I could feel Bella's eyes on my face, but I kept my head strictly down at my lap. I didn't want to see the pity in her eyes. Bella seemed to be searching for the right words. "You were... groomed?" she settled.

  "Essentially. Once the people found out about it though, the tapes were all destroyed and I was financially reimbursed. Being young, I listened to my management and let them settle it all out of court. Once I grew older, I kicked myself in the ass for being so stupid. I fired my manager and had Emmett manage me instead. Unfortunately, though, now I can't take her to court for it."

  "So then... what did she want?"

  "She was confronting me. She knew I hadn't told you. She reminded me of what we had done in the past, and made me feel bad for lying to you about never having kissed anybody."

  "Well, that's a traumatizing thing to mention to someone you just met. I wish you would have told me at least once we were together, but I'm definitely not mad that you lied back then, Edward. What could you have said?" She placed her hand reassuringly on my shoulder, making my stomach lurch sickeningly yet again. I winced.

  "Bells, that's not all..." I looked up at her finally, and if any pity was in her eyes, I never would have known. She kept her face completely blank, silently listening to me and preparing herself for what I would say next. "I was talking to her, trying to get her out of my hair. But, all those emotions came rushing back. She had her hooks so deep and... she kissed me."

  Bella inhaled sharply, her hand dropping from my shoulder. "Oh."

  "Yeah.." I said lamely. I felt like I was going to throw up.

  Minutes of harsh silence passed without either of us saying anything. I found myself holding my breath before I suddenly felt Bella's arms wrap around me in a hug. After a moment, I hugged her back. "You aren't mad?"

  "I'm livid," she grumbled, her voice muffled as she buried her face in my neck. "But I'm happy you told me. And given your history with her... I suppose it makes sense that you got lost in your head."

  I found myself tearing up as I held Bella. My Bella. My forgiving and loving Bella, who I did not deserve. "I love you so much..." I murmured.

  "I love you too," she whispered. "But... Edward?"

  "Yes, baby girl?"

  "If you ever do anything like that again, I'm stuffing Emmett's fist up your ass."

  I winced, chuckling softly as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "Understood, love."

  She pulled away and softly kissed away my tear before she smiled again. I would never understand this girl. But I understood one thing: she would be my forever. I'd make sure of it.